America's Most Smartest Model - Episode 3

It's Monday again! Does everyone know what that means? America's Most Smartest Model was on last night! Yay! Tempers are flaring this week. Andre is still screaming at...well, pretty much anyone who will stick around to listen to him scream. Personally? I wouldn't ever sit in the same room as the man. Walk away, people! It is a valid option! Daniel was the main combatant against Andre in this episode. It's really a wonder that these people don't lose their voices from screaming at each other and Andre.

Yes, Jesse is still "fat." I'm not sure why Mary Alice thinks that a person can lose five pounds overnight. She keeps harping on the fact that poor Jesse doesn't have washboard abs. There isn't a whole lot he can do about that at this point. He's working out every morning and watching what he eats. Well, he was until the first competition where the models had to eat Twinkies and chocolate cake if they answered a question wrong. Speaking of which....COME ON, you can't answer "Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?" Did you not finish junior high or something? You were supposed to be one of the smarter models, Jesse.

As I said, in the first competition of the night, the models had to answer some basic trivia questions such as "Who shot John F. Kennedy?" If they answered correctly, they got to eat a healthy food and a more difficult follow-up question. If they answered the follow-up correctly, they could give their junk food to another model to eat. If they answered their first question incorrectly, they had to eat their junk food. (If the follow-up was incorrectly answered, nothing happened.) Andre got some payback in this round. Three of the models gave him their chocolate cake after answering their questions correctly. Yes, he had to eat THREE pieces of chocolate cake in one standing. Poor stupid Mandy Lynn answered her question wrong then refused to finish her cake claiming she was full and it was too sweet. So she got herself disqualified for the second competition of the day.

The second competition revolved around exercising. Gilad, a fitness guru, used this to pick one of the models to host his next group of fitness videos. Some of the models didn't even try. It was pretty sad. In the end, it came down to Australian~Rachael and Brett. I thought Rachael kicked Brett's ass but Brett ended up getting picked by Gilad. That gave him immunity from being kicked from the show. I kinda think Gilad just wanted to pick the guy over the girl. Luckily Rachael was a good sport and didn't throw a fit or anything.

Since Mandy Lynn was disqualified for the second competition, she didn't have to be there. She even got a package from Mary Alice containing hair dye so she could dye her hair instead. Mandy Lynn decided to play the trooper and go exercise with everyone anyway. About ten minutes into the exercising, Mandy Lynn decided it was too difficult for her and she'd go inside to figure out how to dye her hair. Somehow, she managed to not screw the whole thing up. Her hair actually came out pretty nice. Though it sounds like Mandy Lynn hates it. I think she really does want to be a porn star but she doesn't want to SAY it on national television.

Here is where I usually tell you that I won't reveal who got kicked off but I'm changing things up a bit this week. The three on the chopping block this week were Jesse (because he's fat, duh), Mandy Lynn (because she's dumber than a brick) and American~Rachel (because she's weak since she's too thin? what?). Rachel was taken off the block so it was down to Jesse and Mandy Lynn. Jesse is given another chance to miraculously lose weight overnight and Mandy Lynn is given the big boot. I find it absolutely hysterical that the judges waited until AFTER she dyed her hair to kick her off. It was almost like "Yeah, you did what we said but you still suck." Absolutely amazing.

Now we will get down to the real competition. American~Rachel is still pretty stupid so I imagine that she'll be gone in the next couple of weeks. Knowing how Mary Alice is, Jesse will be the next to get kicked off since it's impossible to lose love handles overnight. If it was possible, I think there would be a lot less "fat" people walking around. (Please note that we are using the model's definition of "fat," where you are obese if you weigh over 110 pounds.) I will miss Mandy Lynn but not her fake boobs, porn star hair and annoying laugh. She was entertaining while she lasted.