Haul Out The Holly | 2022 Christmas Movies

With Candace Cameron Bure’s defection to Great American Family, Lacey Chabert has been left as the face of Hallmark. She gets to do all of the fun commercial bumps telling us to stay tuned for movies and whatnot. Her movie this season, Haul Out The Holly, was released during the coveted Thanksgiving weekend timeslot. But is it any good?

Emily (Lacey Chabert) has just broken up with her boyfriend. Needing someplace to stay, she comes back to her parents’ house for the holiday. Her parents, however, are planning on going to Florida to find a new house for themselves. Emily now has to fulfill all of her parents’ holiday duties for the neighborhood Christmas celebration.

We’re going to ignore the fact that Emily’s parents did a very crappy thing. They knew that Emily just went through an emotional breakup then they straight up lied to her about spending the holidays at home with her. They tricked her into doing things like decorating the entire house and baking cookies for the neighborhood contest and organizing snowman making events. She didn’t sign up for any of these. They are terrible parents.

On the other hand, Haul Out The Holly was a ton of fun. Normally, Chabert-led movies are overdramatic and boring. Not this one! Even the romance with childhood-friend-turned-HOA-president Jared (Wes Brown) was fun. I am going to give Chabert credit for doing an amazing job but I’d also like to note that she was supported by some major comedy players - Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta, Peter Jacobson…I would have been surprised if the movie failed with this amount of talent involved.

Haul Out The Holly should definitely be on your Must See list. This movie was so much fun that I actually might watch it again next year. I never thought I would say that about a Hallmark movie!

Time For Him To Come Home For Christmas | 2022 Christmas Movies

As I predicted last year, we got Time For Him To Come Home For Christmas from the Blake Shelton series of movies. This is the fifth movie in the series, based on one of his songs, and the third that I have watched. I wonder where they will go after they do Time For Her.

Three days before Christmas, Elizabeth (Holland Roden) gets a mysterious voice message intended for someone named Madeline. As a former investigative journalist, she tries to track down Madeline in order to reunite her with the caller. Her estranged best friend, Josh (Tyler Hynes), helps her figure out the mystery.

Of the three Time To Come Home movies I have watched so far, this was the best. The mystery was definitely better than the previous ones and I think Hynes and Roden were a perfect duo. They easily pulled off the difficult relationship that Lizzie and Josh have. And we got just enough flash backs to understand their history and all of the misunderstandings that came between them. For once, this was an understandable conflict. Yes, it could have been solved with a conversation but, given the situation, it would have been an extremely difficult conversation to have at the time.

I also liked that Lizzie and Josh weren’t the only romance in the movie. The relationship between Madeline (Meghan Gardiner) and her mysterious caller (Steve Bacic) was not only fraught itself but it also intertwined with Lizzie and Josh in a way that I wasn’t expecting. These layers upon layers of characterization is what I want in a movie. I know not every Christmas movie can have that but I would love to see more that do.

So, yes, go watch Time For Him To Come Home For Christmas. Hey, it even ends with a singer. You know, the trendy job to have this Christmas season.

Christmas On Mistletoe Farm | 2022 Christmas Movies

To anyone in the United States, British comedies can be a tough act to swallow. Brits sometimes have a “go big or go home” rule when it comes to humor. Christmas On Mistletoe Farm is not an exception to that rule.

Matt Cunningham (Scott Garnham) has been recently widowed. Left alone to raise his five children, his life has been rough. When he gets a notice stating that he was recently willed a farm, Matt decides to take the kids to the small village to get away from London so he can focus on work. However, when the family meets the farmhand, Beano (Scott Paige), life as they know it will change forever.

A lot of times British comedies will take their characters to extremes. Think of Mr. Bean or Benny Hill or The Goes Wrong Show. If you aren’t used to loud or brash characters, they can definitely be upsetting. Reading some other reviews of Christmas On Mistletoe Farm, I don’t think anyone was expecting a British comedy.

Personally, I found the movie quite enjoyable. Beano made me laugh every time he was on screen. The townspeople…I mean, the village people…were a lovable group of weirdos that come together to help each other. Even the kids, who came to the village with the trauma of losing their mother and then getting teased at their London school for being different, were a delight. I firmly believe that children should be allowed to be whoever they want. That is how you figure out your personality. You try different things until you find YOU. Seeing these kids be adored by the villagers for being themselves was lovely. Too often do we see kids shoved into boxes of who adults want them to be.

While I loved this movie, I understand that it’s not for everyone. Christmas On Mistletoe Farm is for the people who like odd characters that maybe talk to farm animals as if they are also people. People who maybe crochet ugly Christmas sweaters for baby goats. And definitely for people who don’t quite fit into the box society wants you to live in. Just remember to bring your sparkly sweater with you to the farm.

I'm Glad It's Christmas | 2022 Christmas Movies

Hey, it’s another Christmas movie about singers! Maybe I should start a counter for how many movies about singers there are this season. It feels like A LOT.

Holly (Jessica Lowndes) aspires to be on Broadway. One morning, as she was heading into her retail job, she literally bumps into Jason (Paul Greene), who writes jingles for commercials. Through Cora (Gladys Knight), who owns the building that houses the shop where Holly works, the two work together on a new Christmas song for a local talent show…run by Cora.

Thankfully, I’m Glad It’s Christmas has a lot of singing in it because the singing is gorgeous. The script, however, could use some work. For example, Jason shares custody of his daughter, Angela (Teagan Sellers), with his wife. However, Angela is constantly running out of every single scene because her mother is picking her up. There is one whole scene where Holly and Angela are baking cookies but they don’t even get to the baking part. They just roll out the dough then use some glasses to cut shapes. End of scene. If the movie is going to have Angela as a character, she needs to be used. She doesn’t need to be in every scene but she could be leaving to go do homework to hang out with friends or something. The scenario we get makes it look like she never spends time with Jason.

Another example involves Holly’s scarf. In the beginning of the movie, there’s a joke bit about her wearing her scarf over her nose and mouth in order to “protect her voice.” We don’t see her do that at any other point in the movie. She doesn’t even wrap the scarf around her neck. It just hangs loosely as if it is only there for fashion. The least they could have done is kept up with the bit. Maybe have her friends make fun of her for always wrapping her neck up or how unattractive it makes her look. Don’t do it once then leave it go.

Once again, there is nothing special about I’m Glad It’s Christmas. Well, Gladys Knight is a joy. (Wait, I just got that the title of the movie is a pun on her name. That explains why it’s called Someday At Christmas on IMDb.) Watch it for the singing. Watch it for Gladys. Just don’t watch it for the plot. That part is boring.

A Tale Of Two Christmases | 2022 Christmas Movies

Hallmark has decided to give us two Christmas romance movies in one! Though in A Tale Of Two Christmases, it’s one woman and two men. This could get messy.

Emma (Katherine Barrell) is an architect living in Chicago. She has to decide whether to go home to Vermont to celebrate Christmas with her family and childhood friend, Drew (Chandler Massey), or stay in Chicago to spend it with her crush, Max (Evan Roderick). Thanks to some Christmas magic from Santa, Emma gets split into two separate Emmas to explore both possibilities.

I have to admit that this sounds like a very interesting plot. We get to see Emma experience both choices but Emma herself doesn’t know it’s happening. So instead of like a split personality type thing, it’s simply two completely separate stories featuring the same female lead with two different male leads. What could have been interesting just turned dull.

Since this is Hallmark, they are obviously going to pick one of the men over the other. There’s no way they would let both of them be The One. The result is that Max is kind of a self-centered rich douchebag while Drew fawns over everything Emma does. It would have been cooler if both men were on the same level and Emma’s big decision was to stay with her corporate job or move home to work with her father. That is a much more interesting story.

Sadly, twice the romance doesn’t mean a better movie. While I wouldn’t recommend watching A Tale Of Two Christmases, I do have to say that Massey is pretty fun as Drew. I guess if you want to sit through it, he would be as good a reason as any to do it.

A Christmas Mystery | 2022 Christmas Movies

It’s time to dip our toes into something a little more family friendly. HBO Max has given us A Christmas Mystery. But what could be so mysterious about Christmas?

In the town of Pleasant Grove, OR, a boy found a string of sleigh bells on the night of Christmas Eve. The magical sleigh bells helped the town prosper and grow over the next 100 years. Three days before the 100th anniversary of the Ringing Of The Bells, the sleigh bells were stolen from their display at the local museum. The police believe that George Bottoms (Drew Powell) is the culprit. But Violet (Violet McGraw), the sheriff’s daughter, thinks it was someone else. Now Violet has to search for proof that someone else stole the bells.

This was an adorable mystery movie. It had the same vibe as a Nancy Drew book except Violet was helped by her best friend, Kenny Bottoms (Santino Barnard); his brother, Harrison (Leonardo Cecchi); and her sister, Maddie (Lauren Lindsey Donzis). I liked that Violet didn’t guess the villain correctly the first time. Especially since the clues led her to the incorrect choice to begin with. The true villain did need a little legwork to get to the end result but that is OK. It’s better when it’s not super easy to guess the bad guy.

I don’t know how interesting this movie would be for most adults. It is definitely geared toward tweens or young teens. But if you grew up reading Nancy Drew or Encyclopedia Brown, you might find a bit of fun nostalgia here. Either way, it is a cute way to spend an evening.

A Royal Corgi Christmas | 2022 Christmas Movies

A Royal Corgi Christmas is the movie I have been looking forward to this season. As a corgi owner myself, I was curious what kind of movie they would have featuring corgis. And when I saw the dreaded MarVista name in the opening credits, I was fearful this would be a terrible movie.

Cecily (Hunter King) is a dog trainer that is blowing up on YouTube. When Prince Edmond (Jordan Renzo) brings home a corgi for his mother, Queen Portia (Susannah De Wrixon), he hires Cecily to train Mistletoe in time for the Christmas ball.

I’m not going to lie. The dogs are adorable in this movie. And we are treated to more than just Mistletoe. The Queen has two other corgis - Juniper and Holly - and there is a corgi dash where we get to see a number of other dogs. Sometimes movies put ‘dog’ in their title then have the dog appear once or twice. I was not disappointed with A Royal Corgi Christmas. There was a dog in almost every scene!

So we know the dogs are all good dogs. But how about the humans? They are all decent enough. To be honest, there isn’t anything to make them stand out from their canine costars. The acting isn’t distracting nor is the script particularly terrible. However, they are all definitely outdone by the dogs.

If you are a dog lover or, more specifically, a corgi lover, you will find a lot of joy in A Royal Corgi Christmas. However, if you aren’t a dog person, this isn’t the movie for you. You would be better off finding one of the other royal Christmas movies to satisfy you.

Steppin' Into The Holiday | 2022 Christmas Movies

I didn’t realize how much I missed Cheri Oteri’s comedy until I watched Steppin’ Into The Holiday. She may not be the lead of the movie but she is definitely the best part.

Billy Holliday (Mario Lopez) is a former Broadway star who just got fired from his hit TV show, “Celebrity Dance Off.” As he returns home, he reconnects with Rae (Jana Kramer), the daughter of his former dance teacher. Rae now runs the local studio and is running into problems trying to organize her winter recital. Billy steps in to help and the two fall in love.

To be honest, there were only a couple of times I found myself interested in Steppin’ Into The Holiday. One: The scenes with Billy’s manager, Dallas, (Cheri Oteri), and her dog, Shakira. Two: The scenes where the kids were dancing. Sorry, Mario, you looked ridiculous in most of your dance scenes. Even Billy’s nephew, Junior (Enzo Rodriguez), didn’t look great in the dance scenes. I’m talking about the kids that were dancing during the recital. There were some good dancers in there.

Other than those couple of times, I found the movie to be the same middle of the road fare we always get. It wasn’t terrible. Mario Lopez is rather charismatic so that helps. But it wasn’t great either. It always feels like he’s trying not to overact, which makes him overact. Jana Kramer is fine but she isn’t really given any room to be present. She’s there to dance and make googly eyes at Mario Lopez. Shrug.

If you decide to watch it, and I’m not telling you not to watch it, do it for Cheri Oteri and Shakira. They seriously are the best parts of the movie, even if they only have like three scenes.

The Noel Diary | 2022 Christmas Movies

Usually, Netflix Christmas movies are a little more put together than movies that are on a cable television budget. The more money you have to throw at something, the better it is, right? Well…maybe not.

Jacob Turner (Justin Hartley) is a famous mystery author. When his mother passes, he has to go back to his hometown to clear out her house in order to sell it. As he is working, he meets Rachel (Barrett Doss). She is looking for her birth mother who may have worked for Jacob’s parents. Together, they set off to find the truth in their histories.

The Noel Diary is probably one of the slowest movies I have ever watched. A majority of it is filled with Rachel reading a diary while Jacob drives them to his estranged father’s house. Rachel makes a giant leap of logic assuming the diary was written by her birth mother, Noel (Essence Atkins). This is a romantic drama so of course she’s right but Rachel didn’t know her mother’s name or what she did. All she knew was that her mother once lived at Jacob’s mother’s house. Anyway, we don’t get to see anything Noel was going through. We only get to see the writing in the book.

We don’t even get deeper scenes when Jacob finally meets up with his father, Scott (James Remar), who he hasn’t seen in decades. There’s a Christmas tree decorating montage while poor Rachel and Jacob’s dog, Ava, freeze in the car. (Seriously, why does Rachel keep agreeing to stay in the car? Girl, you are going to die.) This is where we should get some good emotional backstory. Scott knew Noel! Instead of trimming trees, we should have gotten loads of stories from Scott. About Jacob’s deceased brother, Ben (Baylen D. Bielitz). About Rachel’s mother, Noel. About what Jacob’s mother, Lois (Monica McCarthy), was going through. But, no. We get Christmas decorations and a small conversation about Noel. Sad.

Normally, I don’t like spoiling movies. Even the crappiest of Christmas movies doesn’t deserve to get spoiled. However, I feel obligated to tell you that there is no payoff in The Noel Diary. All of those things the movie leads you to want, you don’t get. It is extremely frustrating to sit through an hour and forty minutes for nothing.

So, in the end, I can’t recommend watching this one. The pacing is too slow and we don’t get anything out of it. I almost wish for a sequel so we can get those things this movie promised us. But I don’t think we’ll get either. Netflix really failed on this one.

#Xmas | 2022 Christmas Movies

When I saw that there was going to be a movie this year called #Xmas, I took a deep breath and hoped it wasn’t going to be as stupid as it sounded. It probably could have been titled better.

Jen (Clare Bowen) owns her own interior design business with her sister, Ali (Anna Van Hooft). However, business is not going well. The women enter a contest run by mega-influencers, Zoe (Lillian Doucet-Roche) and Charlie (Sebastian Stewart). They pretend that Jen is married to her friend, Max (Brant Daugherty), and they have a baby, who is really Ali’s baby. When they become finalists and the influencers come to visit them, everything begins to fall apart.

I was slightly relieved as soon as I realized that this movie wasn’t going to be about an app or a software developer. However, that relief was negated as soon as Jen opened her mouth. This seems to be another instance of women writers that hate women. Jen is constantly negative about everything. I get that she’s supposed to lack self-confidence and is constantly doubting herself but why would she open an interior design business? This is the personality of someone who needs a boss. Not someone who can run their own successful business. It’s probably the reason their business was failing in the first place and I don’t understand why anyone would continue to be around her.

In addition to the self-misery, Jen is also mean to a lot of the people around her. While her mother, Liz (Karen Kruper), is fairly self-centered, Jen is absolutely vile to her every chance she gets. Then there is Max. Jen expects him to put his career aside just to live near his friend. She doesn’t want to be romantic with him, she just doesn’t want him to leave her. I think I might hate Jen and, no, she isn’t worth the redemption arc.

There isn’t a lot to make this movie worth watching. I enjoyed Van Hooft’s performance and Max tries his hardest to be the best character in the movie. In the end, I can’t recommend watching #Xmas. Maybe if the big redemption cycle started earlier in the movie so we could see her actually apologizing to everyone. (No, there are no apologies to be had.) But as it stands, it’s a movie about an awful woman being awful to everyone around her. I see enough of that in real life.