Shotgun Wedding | Movie Review

Since February is a short month and the month of love, I’m going to attempt to do daily romantic comedy reviews for the entire month. I don’t usually watch a lot of romcoms so some of these movies may be very old. But we’re going to start out with a new one - Shotgun Wedding, which was released on Amazon Prime on January 27.

Tom (Josh Duhamel) and Darcy (Jennifer Lopez) are having a destination wedding. They have gathered all of their family members on a private island in The Philippines. As the bride and groom are getting ready, a band of pirates attacks the rest of the guests, taking them all hostage. They demand a ransom from Darcy’s father, Robert (Cheech Marin). Unbeknownst to everyone, Tom and Darcy are actually arguing, debating whether or not they actually want to get married. When they find out their loved ones are in danger, they work together to save everyone’s lives, reigniting their love along the way.

To be honest, I expected this to be a stupid movie. As I said earlier, I don’t watch a lot of romcoms and the ones starring Jennifer Lopez always seem to be terrible. Imagine how happy I was when I found myself actually enjoying Shotgun Wedding! I think what held it together for me was the ensemble cast. Instead of everything focusing on Darcy and Tom, we had comedy heavyweights Jennifer Coolidge and Cheech Marin alongside the extremely talented D’Arcy Carden, the often-forgotten talent of Melissa Hunter, and the over-the-top acting of Lenny Kravitz. Since the movie split its’ time between the couple and their families, there was a lot more meat to its’ bones.

I wanted to list my favorite parts of the movie here but I’m having a difficult time pinning down one or two moments. The fight scene at the end is pretty cool. So is the zipline scene and the fight in the kitchen. And so is the scene where Darcy confronts her family. I would probably have an easier time listing the things I didn’t like about the movie…though there aren’t a lot of those moments either. I don’t think I would put this as a 5 out of 5 movie but it’s definitely a 4 out of 5.

Infinity Pool | Movie Review

My husband and I have become recent fans of Mia Goth’s work, thanks to X and Pearl. When we saw she had a new movie coming out, Infinity Pool, we knew we wanted to see it. I don’t think we fully knew what we were in for. The plot description for this is long so buckle in.

James Foster (Alexander Skarsgård) is a novelist, though the only book he has published was released six years ago. Unable to write another book, he goes on vacation to Latoka with his wife, Em (Cleopatra Coleman). The two are having relationship difficulties that worsen when James meets a fan named Gabi (Mia Goth) and her husband Alban (Jalil Lespert). After dinner that night, the two couples decide to go on a seaside picnic the next day, even though tourists are forbidden from leaving the resort. They spend the day eating and drinking but, as James is driving the group back to the resort, he hits and kills a local farmer crossing the street. The punishment for the crime is death. However, the local detective makes a deal with James. For a large sum of money, they will create an identical clone of James. The clone will take the punishment while James goes back to his regular life, after watching the clone get murdered. Em is horrified by the whole thing and wants to go home. James has an opposite reaction and decides to stay. From here, James spends his time with Gabi, Alban, and their friends, who have all committed serious crimes on the island and have been cloned as a result. The debauchery continues until James can’t take any more. He tries to leave the group but they won’t allow it. Will he be able to get out or is he trapped in a life of crime forever?

Yeah. For those that don’t know, this is a movie directed and written by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David Cronenberg. As such, Infinity Pool does have a lot of very disturbing scenes. There are drug-fueled orgies (which were apparently tamed in order to get the R rating), fairly graphic murders, and a lot of blood. It is very over the top.

Did I like it? There were a lot of things I liked. The clone issue is always an interesting plot device. Who is the “real” person and who is the clone? I also liked Gabi’s leadership of the group. Everything seemed to be her idea and everyone else was just following along, even though they also enjoyed what they were doing. I don’t think that we necessarily needed all of the weird visuals that sometimes made me difficult for me to understand what was happening but that is a typical Cronenberg trope. His dad does stuff like that and now he does too. It should be expected when you hear their name.

With that said, I don’t think I would recommend this movie to just anyone. It is a very specific type of person that enjoys Cronenberg movies. If you enjoy the trippy type of visuals and absolutely gore that comes with the family name, you might like this a lot. For me, I’m giving it a 3 out of 5.

Dog Gone | Movie Review

To be honest, I kept passing by Dog Gone on Netflix ever since it came out on January 13. The thumbnail looked boring, the preview looked boring, the description was boring. It just didn’t look like a movie I would enjoy. But I’m a reviewer so I finally put on my big girl pants and turned it on.

Fielding Marshall (Johnny Berchtold) is in his senior year of college. After his girlfriend breaks up with him, he adopts a dog named Gonker. When graduation rolls around, Fielding misses the ceremony because he lost track of time camping with his dog. Needless to say, his parents, John (Rob Lowe) and Ginny (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), are not happy. Fielding and Gonker move back to the Marshall home to try to figure out what to do with their life. While hiking with his college buddy, Nate (Nick Peine), Gonker chases a fox and gets lost. Fielding and John spend the next couple of weeks together searching for their dog.

If you are looking for a movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat, Dog Gone is not it. Instead, you will find a heartfelt drama that is based on a true story. While the search for Gonker drives the plot, it’s the strained relationship between Fielding and his father that is the core of the movie. As such, I found Dog Gone to be fairly dull. The parts that I found most interesting were the parts involving Fielding’s mother, Ginny, and her past relationship with her parents and the dog that she briefly owned. Those were the parts that made me teary-eyed. Not the testosterone-filled “Let’s not talk about anything” men. They were actually kinda annoying.

I would have preferred if Dog Gone was told from Gonker’s point of view, like Homeward Bound. It also would have made the title a little more appropriate. Yes, it’s the name of the book that the movie is based on but it still feels disingenuous. The Search for Gonker or Where Has My Dog Gone? would have been better titles. Anyway, I didn’t like the movie but I didn’t hate it either. It just needs more dog.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 - Mostly because Gonker is a good dog and the credits are filled with pictures of the cast and crew with their pets.

Missing | Movie Review

When I saw the trailers for Missing, I couldn’t decide what to think of it. On one hand, it looked like a Netflix or Shudder original movie rather than a theatrical movie. On the other hand, it seemed like an interesting premise. Since I had some time, I decided to check it out.

Grace (Nia Long) and her boyfriend, Kevin (Ken Leung), are going on vacation to Colombia. June (Storm Reid), Grace’s 18-year old daughter, is staying by herself in Los Angeles. However, when June goes to the airport to pick them up after their trip, neither Grace nor Kevin can be found. When the police and FBI take their time investigating the case, June turns to the internet to find her mom by herself.

I will say that Missing did keep my attention through the entire 2-hour runtime. The various twists and turns in the case were both intriguing and fairly realistic. I can believe that June would run into all sorts of red tape while dealing with detectives. And June was extremely innovative using internet tools like TaskRabbit (well, the Colombian equivalent) and live feed cams to try to track her mom’s movements in another country. I don’t know that I would have done as well as she did.

With that in mind, I’m not sure this is worthy of a theatrical release. The whole movie was supposed to feel close and personal, which is lost when you’re sitting in front of a huge screen with other people. I think it might have felt a little more targeted if it was a streaming release. Especially with the twist ending. Missing deserves to feel personal. And I feel like I lost that in a theater setting.

Despite wanting a more personal feeling as I watched the movie, I would give this a 4 out of 5 stars if I rated movies. (Should I give movie ratings?) It was really good and I didn’t predict the twist, which I usually do. I would probably watch it again to see if there was anything I missed during my first watch.

7 Women and a Murder | Movie Review

This was originally on my list of Christmas movies. However, after some digging, I realized that 7 Women and a Murder isn’t really a Christmas movie. It takes place during Christmas but it’s only mentioned twice. So it got kicked out of the Christmas lineup.

Susanna (Diana Del Bufalo) has come home for Christmas. Shortly after her arrival, her father, Marcello (Luca Pastorelli), is found dead. All seven women in the house have a motive for his murder. But which of them did it?

Right away, I knew this Italian movie was going to fall under the love-it or hate-it categories. Netflix has it listed as an Agatha Christie or Knives Out type of movie. While I can see the similarities, I don’t think that 7 Women is anything like those. Both Agatha Christie and Knives Out have a singular detective trying to figure out who perpetrated the crime at hand. In 7 Women, they are left to try to figure out the killer on their own. As a result, everyone lies to one another and tries to out each other’s secrets. Without that impartial third party, the movie ends up just being about bickering women who point their finger at anyone but themselves.

That isn’t to say the movie isn’t interesting. It just isn’t as fun as the established detective movies. Personally, I always try to figure out who the killer is when I watch whodoneit movies. Doesn’t everyone? Isn’t that the whole point of the movie? But in 7 Women, we aren’t given any clues to try to piece together the puzzle. And, honestly, the solution is a little bit of a let down.

Instead of using the story or the plot to keep the audience’s attention, 7 Women uses the characters to keep us involved. Unfortunately, all of the women kinda suck. The least annoying of them is the youngest daughter, Caterina (Benedetta Porcaroli). But she still isn’t someone we want to be innocent.

Maybe it’s the differences between Italian and American cultures. Maybe this movie would be better if I understood Italian family dynamics. As it is, I spent too much of the movie waiting for something to happen and nothing did. I wanted to like it so much and, in the end, I didn’t.

The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker | Movie Review

If you were alive in the United States in 2013, you probably remember this story. It is the epitome of the phrase “going viral.” And now Netflix has released a documentary about it called The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker.

In February 2013, Kai Lawrence was hitchhiking around California. He caught a ride with Jett Simmons McBride, who crashed his car into a construction worker, pinning him against a truck. When a woman who witnessed the accident got out to help, McBride attacked her. Heroically, Kai attacked McBride with a hatchet he was carrying, saving the woman from harm. After an interview with a reporter from the local news station, Kai’s story went viral. But what happened to Kai after his rocket to stardom stalled?

I remember this story vividly. Like most of the country, I also got a kick out of Kai. And like most viral news stories, I forgot about him almost immediately. I seem to recall reading some article about him being arrested for murder but I wasn’t interested enough to really read it. In short, this documentary seemed targeted to someone like me.

The documentary doesn’t actually talk to Kai himself. Instead, it revolves around all of the people that surrounded Kai at the time, as well as some of his family members. We hear from the reporter that originally broke the Kai story, who seems to be the only person that Kai still talks to. We also hear from the variety of people in the entertainment business that wanted to make Kai a superstar. People that wanted to give him a reality show or booked him for talk shows or just wanted a piece of the viral Kai cake.

While all of this is interesting in a way, it does feel like we don’t get to know Kai as a person. We only get to see him through the lenses of these people that wanted something from him. Jessob Reisbeck, the original reporter that broke the story, is the only one that doesn’t seem to want something from Kai. The only reason he is involved in the story is he is the only person Kai will talk with so Reisbeck ends up as a sort of go-between for Kai and the rest of the world.

We do hear from Kai’s mother and a friend who knew him in school but both of those stories feel fake. Shirley McGillvary, Kai’s mother, sounds like she is only telling stories that don’t make her look like a terrible mom. But her stories don’t make her look all that good either. I can’t tell if she really abused Kai when he was a child or if she was just overwhelmed by motherhood. As for Kai’s school friend, he barely gives us any backstory about Kai’s childhood. He was only there to throw his two cents into a Netflix documentary.

Overall, I thought The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker did a decent job of telling the story of Kai. However, without talking to Kai himself, it’s difficult to tell how much of the documentary is true. If it isn’t on film, it very well may be a lie. A lot of people seemed to want a piece of Kai and that makes me feel bad for him. Not bad enough to believe that he didn’t murder Joseph Galfy in May 2013. But it is possible that Kai was attacked like he claims. Everyone seemed to want a piece of him at the time and that just sucks.

Shin Ultraman | Movie Review

Whenever we can, my husband and I try to go see any Japanese movies aired by Fathom Events. We saw Shin Godzilla back in 2016. This week we saw Shin Ultraman. Both movies were made by Shinji Higuchi and Hideaki Anno. A third movie is scheduled to be released in Japan later this year but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, Shin Ultraman.

Giant monsters called kaiju are attacking Japan. The government has formed a taskforce called S-Class Species Suppression Protocol or SSSP to handle them. During a particularly difficult kaiju attack, an extraterrestrial in the shape of a giant human appears and dispatches the beast. But now the SSSP has a new problem - is Ultraman a friend or foe?

In an attempt to reboot the original series into one 2-hour movie, the kaiju fights are very short. The movie starts with a list of kaiju and how they were killed. Ultraman fights two kaiju then the first “big bad” is introduced. Yes, there is more than one Big Bad. There are actually three Big Bad enemies. Ultraman fights five enemies in total. Unfortunately, the kaiju fights are usually the focus of tokusatsu movies. By minimizing the fights, the movie seems to drag a lot.

Since the fights are so short, the time is filled with a lot of talking. We aren’t given the time to see the kaiju or Ultraman or the baddies do much so it has to be explained to us. This also makes the movie drag. Seriously, this was the longest 2-hour movie I have ever watched.

But there are some good parts. Masami Nagasawa was wonderful as Hiroko Asami. She brought the perfect amount of humor to a movie that sorely needed it. Everyone else was fine but it really was Nagasawa that made Shin Ultraman worth watching. OK, really she is the only good part.

Shin Ultraman really is a Japanese movie for a Japanese audience. While that isn’t a bad thing, we were shown an interview with the director, Shinji Higuchi, before the movie. Higuchi noted the differences between Japanese audiences and American audiences and he hoped that American audiences would enjoy his movie. I didn’t hate the movie. As a matter of fact, I did find a lot of it quite enjoyable. But I’m not sure a lot of people would feel the same.

M3gan | Movie Review

What better way to unwind from the holiday season than a movie about a murderous robotic doll? I have been looking forward to this movie but was it worth it?

Gemma (Allison Williams) develops robotic toys for children. When her sister and brother-in-law are killed in a car accident, her niece, Cady (Violet McGraw), comes to live with her. Seeing that Cady is having difficulty transitioning to life without her parents, Gemma gives her the robotic friend prototype she is working on, codenamed M3gan. M3gan is perfect - she listens, she teaches, she protects. But maybe she is a little too perfect.

While M3gan isn’t the perfect movie, it is a lot of fun. On the positive side, M3gan isn’t the scary Chucky-style doll killer we are used to. Instead of a serial killer doll, we are faced with an AI who is fulfilling their duties to the extreme. This isn’t anything new. We see it in movies like Wall-E or Alien. In M3gan’s case, her duty was to protect Cady’s emotional and physical well-being. When those things are threatened, M3gan removes them. As a result, we actually cheer on M3gan’s murderous tendencies for the most part.

Thankfully, I don’t think there are too many negatives to the movie. Lydia (Amy Usherwood), the therapist that comes in to evaluate Cady, is awful. There is a scene where Lydia wants to watch Gemma play with Cady but then she contradicts everything she says. Lydia says to let Cady lead the play session (basically telling Gemma to not tell Cady how to play with a toy) then she, herself, tells Cady how to play. I understand why Lydia has to exist in the movie. I think it would have been better if she wasn’t so intolerable the first time we meet her. It makes all of the other interactions with her cringey.

I also wish that Gemma’s co-workers, Tess (Jen Van Epps) and Cole (Brian Jordan Alvarez), were used a bit better. We only ever see them in the robotic lab. Considering that M3gan is now out in the world, they could have made the trip to Gemma’s house to give feedback on how they think M3gan is progressing. As it is, they have to make calls on M3gan’s behavior solely based on what Gemma tells them. They get biased information instead of getting the information for themselves.

With all of that in mind, I still highly enjoyed M3gan. It was a great story about attachments children make and the role parents play in their lives. I will probably watch it again when it comes to a streaming service.

X | Movie Review

My husband and I watched X awhile ago. Originally, I wasn’t planning on writing a review for it, but then the sequel came out and I figured I might as well review them both.

The year is 1979. A group of filmmakers travels to a farmhouse in Texas to film a new pornographic movie. Their movie, The Farmer’s Daughter, is directed by Wayne Gilroy (Martin Henderson) and stars Bobby-Lynne (Brittany Snow) and Jackson Hole (Scott Mescudi). Wayne’s girlfriend, Maxine Minx (Mia Goth), will also appear in the film. However, Lorraine (Jenna Ortega) is only there to help her director boyfriend, RJ (Owen Campbell). That is, until she gets drawn in by the allure of the sex scenes. Then she wants to take part as well. Meanwhile, Howard (Stephen Ure), the owner of the farmhouse, is rather mean to the group. But it’s his wife, Pearl (Mia Goth), that they really need to avoid.

Like most A24 films, X is an unusual type of movie. Even though there are movies about making porn movies, they don’t quite follow the same format as X. We do see sex scenes (there is only one scene of full frontal nudity and it’s not related to The Farmer’s Daughter) but, for the most part, they don’t come across as sexy. They come across as almost robotic, which is probably pretty accurate for the porn industry. Something that needs to be done in order to become a rich and famous star.

In addition, the villain in this slasher film isn’t someone who can chase young adults across a farm in order to murder them. And still, most of the cast still ends up dead. It’s an interesting twist on the slasher genre of horror movie that definitely keeps you on your toes. Just when you think that the killer can’t possibly do something, that something happens anyway.

While I want to recommend X, it’s a difficult movie to actually recommend. It’s one of those movies that people will either love or hate. It is A24, after all. With that said, this is the middle film of a trilogy. The prequel, Pearl, came out on September 16 and the sequel, Maxxxine, will be coming out next year. You might want to wait until all three movies are out before watching this one.

Do Revenge | Movie Review

As I was scrolling through Netflix, trying to find a movie or series to talk about, I came across Do Revenge. Led by Maya Hawke from Stranger Things and Camila Mendes from Riverdale, I just knew I had to check it out.

Drea (Camila Mendes) is one of the popular girls at Rosehill Country Day High School. When her boyfriend shares an intimate video she made for him, her life is all but ruined. At tennis camp that summer, Drea meets Eleanor (Maya Hawke), who is transferring to Rosehill next year. The two soon find out that they have both been terribly wronged by people they thought were friends. So they team up to take down each other’s bullies.

Do Revenge is based on the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Strangers on a Train. While I’ve never seen the movie myself, I am familiar with the plot. Familiar enough that I actually thought it was the plot to a completely different movie. My bad.

Where Strangers on a Train dealt with adults and actual murder, Do Revenge takes the plot to high school and goes with social murder instead of physical harm. And I actually think this movie handles the change quite well. There is an additional twist toward the end that Hitchcock did not have in his movie, which I think raises the stakes a bit. There definitely were some parts that kept me on the edge of my seat. I thought I knew what was going to happen but it was worse than I thought.

The acting in Netflix original movies can be hit or miss. Thankfully, this one is a hit. Hawke’s Eleanor starts off as an awkward newcomer but Hawke is able to pull over the amazing transformation into one of the “cool kids” and make us believe that she would get accepted into their group. Meanwhile, Mendes is perfect as Hawke’s conniving counterpart. Adding to the talent is Sarah Michelle Gellar as the school’s headmistress, Austin Abrams as Drea’s ex-boyfriend Max, and Alisha Boe as Drea’s ex-best friend Tara. All of them are their own special brand of terribleness.

Yes, Do Revenge should be on your “must see” list. Even if you can’t get into the high school drama, which you know you will, you will absolutely fall in love with the soundtrack. I found myself singing along more than once. For me, that is always a sign of a good show. Take the plunge and add it to your Netflix queue.