Christmas on the Vine | 2020 Christmas Movies

This may have been the first movie to really make me think “You know you’d get fired for that if this was real life, right?” That probably isn’t a good thing…

Brooke (Julianna Guill) is a marketing executive tasked with helping a struggling family winery in her hometown. Tyler (Jon Cor) is the son of the winery owner, who will take over the business one day. Can they save the family business before the Christmas deadline?

Christmas on the Vine is one of those movies that annoys me. While Brooke does do some marketing for the winery, she spends most of her time waxing nostalgic for the Christmas traditions the town had when she was a child. Of course, those memories only exist in the movie to set up the big third act twist. She also spends a lot of time flirting with Tyler. Then when he actually acts on her advances, she turns him down. What the hell, girl. Figure out what you want.

Tyler isn’t much better. He spends a lot of the movie whining about how his family business is closing but when Brooke actually does her job and gives him ideas to bring in new customers or distributors, he shoots them down. His mother has to convince him to actually listen to Brooke.

Oh, and what would Brooke have gotten fired for? There’s a scene where the rival winery owner, Carla (Meredith Baxter), randomly shows up to try to get Tyler to sell her his winery. After Tyler and Brooke shoo her off, Brooke asks Tyler if he’s ready to fight for his business and throws a snowball at him. Who in the world would randomly throw a snowball at their client? Even if it’s supposed to be flirty (spoiler, it is), it’s very unprofessional.

Lifetime really is letting us down this year. I’ll have to try to make a list of terrible Lifetime movies versus terrible Hallmark movies for 2020. Christmas on the Vine definitely falls under terrible Lifetime movies. You might do better if you head over to the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel this year. They seem to be handing out all the good movies.

The Christmas House | 2020 Christmas Movies

There has been some controversy about an LGBTQ+ movie on Hallmark. I heard people complaining about a “gay couple on Hallmark!” forcing them to cancel their subscription to the channel but I didn’t know which movie it was. Well, this is it. This is the movie that broke Hallmark.

Mike (Robert Buckley) is an actor starring in a television show called “Handsome Lawyer.” When shooting wraps for the season, he is called home to help his parents, Phylis (Sharon Lawrence) and Bill (Treat Williams), bring back The Christmas House. With some help from his brother, Brandon (Jonathan Bennett), and Brandon’s husband, Jake (Brad Harder), Mike tries to get the house ready for all of the Christmas revelers to enjoy.

The Christmas House has a lot going on in it. (Here is Hallmark’s description of the movie since mine is kinda terrible.) There’s a house being sold, a relationship breaking up, a relationship starting, a baby possibly being adopted, a career that might be ending….like I said, a lot. However, it all works. People’s lives are hectic around the holidays and this movie reflects that.

As I said in the opening, this is a controversial movie. This is the first Christmas movie on the Hallmark Channel that focuses on a gay couple. Surprisingly, they are treated well. I was expecting Hallmark to come out with at least one character that was against their lifestyle. But no, Brandon and Jake are treated just like everyone else in the movie. I know, it’s almost like gay people are…..people. (insert shocked face here) Hallmark did good.

I really don’t want to give away too much about The Christmas House because, yes, you should watch this one. Watch it multiple times. And not just because it has gay characters. It is actually a good movie. I don’t usually want to add Hallmark movies to my “annual movie” list….this may be the exception.

The Angel Tree | 2020 Christmas Movies

While watching this movie, I found out that Hallmark paired with the USO this year. Maybe that is why there are so many military references in this year’s Christmas movies.

Every year in Pine River, a tree appears in the town square. Residents place their Christmas wishes on the tree. Like magic, an unknown person known only as Angel grants everyone’s wishes.

The Angel Tree is an adorable movie. The idea that a group of people get together secretly every year to make Christmas magic happen for their fellow townsfolk is a perfect Christmas movie plot.

Rebecca (Jill Wagner) grew up in Pine River and was devastated when her Angel Tree wish wasn’t granted. (I mean, her wish was to stop her parents from moving out of town…) As an adult, she decides to write an article about the Angel Tree and is pressured by her editor to find out who is granting all of the wishes. Matthew (Lucas Bryant) is her childhood best friend who still lives in the town. He makes it his mission to keep Rebecca from finding out Angel’s identity while also helping Angel grant wishes. As Rebecca and her daughter, Cassie (Cassidy Nugent), help Matthew and his nephew, Owen (Oscar Farrell), grant Angel Tree wishes, they find out how good it feels to make other people’s wishes come true.

This movie is practically perfect in every way. I already said I liked the plot. The acting is very good. Even Matthew’s stupid coffee puns add to the feel-good mood. Owen’s mom is a soldier deployed overseas but they actually fit it into the story. It doesn’t feel like it was jammed into the script just to have a character related to the military.

You should absolutely watch The Angel Tree. Even if you aren’t into Christmas movies, this is less about Christmas and more about giving back to your community. A great movie for pretty much anyone.

A Timeless Christmas | 2020 Christmas Movies

Sometimes you fall in love with the boy next door. Sometimes you fall in love with a man 117 years older than you that happens to be your professional obsession. No biggie, right?

Ryan Paevey plays Charles Whitley, a 1903 businessman/inventor. As he tries to fix a clock he purchased for his fiancée, he accidentally time travels to 2020. Megan Turner (Erin Cahill) is a historian who is giving Christmas tours at the Whitley mansion when Charles arrives. It is up to Megan to teach him about the 21st century and try to get him back to his proper time.

This isn’t a new plot device. It is still a little weird. Charles isn’t a very nice man. While he is polite, he frequently talks down to people he thinks are lesser. He gets over that….eventually. It seems that the only reason people like him is because he is rich and somewhat famous. That is a terrible reason to like anyone.

I can see why people would like movies like this. The female lead gets to take care of the hapless male and teach him about the ways of their world. I find it creepy. Can you imagine having to explain almost everything to your significant other? He might be familiar with the concept of a car but definitely not a 2020 version. Television, cell phones, computers, the internet….air conditioners, refrigerators, radio (these things may have been invented in the late 1890s but they probably weren’t in most households in 1903)…even the food we eat is different. It would almost be like dating a child. Gross.

With that said, if you look beyond the ickyness of dating someone from another time period, A Timeless Christmas is kinda cute. I don’t know that I could recommend watching it. But you aren’t going to want to gouge your eyes out or anything. There are probably better time travel romance movies out there. They just aren’t Christmas themed.

Christmas on Wheels | 2020 Christmas Movies

This movie takes place in Washington state and they are going to drive a convertible around with the top down on Christmas Eve? Wouldn’t that be kinda cold?

Ashley (Tiya Sircar) has a love for all things vintage. When she finds out that her uncle sold her mom’s vintage car - the one they used to deliver gifts in - she turns to her uncle’s attorney/antique appraiser, Duncan (Michael Xavier), for help.

I generally enjoy Tiya Sircar’s acting. She is adorable in pretty much everything. This isn’t an exception. Granted, Ashley’s obsession with everything vintage and antique is a little weird but I guess there are people out there that only want to buy vintage items. It is sweet that she says she only likes the antiques for their story and not only because they are old.

To be honest, the whole middle part of Christmas on Wheels could be cut out. (Is this a new trend for 2020?) There’s this…thing…about the town mayor changing the look of the Main Street decorations but we never really meet the mayor. We see her once during a charity auction, where she bids on an item, and that is it. No one talks to her to find out why she’s making the changes. Ashley just makes Duncan help her change the decorations back to the old ones in the middle of the night. It is weird.

And there’s a subplot about the car not running properly. It doesn’t start and no one can figure out why. It seems that the car has the ghost of Ashley’s mom so it only runs when Duncan is with her? Yeeeah. People in these movies are too invested in other people’s love lives.

Lifetime has given us yet another movie that is just OK. There isn’t anything particularly stand-out about it. If you like magical cars or if you also think Tiya Sircar is adorable, it’s a perfectly fine way to spend an evening.

Meet Me At Christmas | 2020 Christmas Movies

Meet Me at Christmas is such a frustrating movie. Get ready for a long-winded rant.

When they were freshmen in college, Joan (Catherine Bell) and Beau (Mark Deklin) spent one fun-filled, flirty day during a Christmas stay at a hotel. Years later, they reconnect when Joan’s son, Liam (Luke Bilyk), and Beau’s niece, Katie (Sage Kitchen), are about to get married at the same hotel.

I am so annoyed at this movie. There are so many times when the “conflict” could have been resolved but weren’t because they needed the movie to be longer than thirty minutes. We start off with Joan and Beau not introducing themselves when they originally met. They were doing this stupid flirty game of “I don’t give my name to people I’ve only known for six hours.” YES. They spent the entire day together and didn’t know each other’s names. We saw them compete in a snowman building contest and ride a ferris wheel together and they still refused to just tell the other person their name. WHO IS THAT STUPID.

Then…later that night, they were supposed to meet up at a big tree lighting ceremony. But, of course, they don’t know each other’s names still. Beau doesn’t show up and Joan ends up hanging out with her future husband and his friends. Now. Joan told this guy (I’m not sure they ever say the dad’s name….they keep referring to him as “your father”) that she was meeting someone else and he said she could wait with his group. No big deal. HOWEVER….

During the wedding planning, Liam asks Joan if she knew Beau before. Joan straight up lies to her son and says no. Because Joan didn’t want to ruin Liam’s story of how she met his father? (Oh, by the way, the dad is dead so he’s only ever spoken about in past tense.) Why would knowing that you met Beau and spent one whole day with him ruin anything? WHO IS THAT STUPID.

In addition to that, Beau tried multiple times to tell Joan why he didn’t show up to the tree lighting ceremony that night. But Joan wouldn’t let him. It isn’t until Katie’s dad (Beau’s younger brother) is giving his wedding speech, where he tells the story of how Beau saved him from getting run over by a car and they spent months in the hospital. If Joan had just let him talk earlier, this would have all been resolved.

WHY ARE THEY SO STUPID?

Absolutely do not watch Meet Me at Christmas. It is dumb and frustrating. I keep waiting for something to happen..for there to be a real reason that Joan was being stupid…but there wasn’t. Nothing happens. This movie wasted so much of my time. ARGH.

A Welcome Home Christmas | 2020 Christmas Movies

Recently, I’ve complained about how military life has been shoehorned into a bunch of Christmas movies this year. There always seems to be a “My distant relative is in the military” or a random “I was a military brat” that has no bearing on the actual plot of the movie. A Welcome Home Christmas is different. And I’m happy about that.

Chloe (Jana Kramer) is an Army counselor that helps returning soldiers adapt to civilian life. Michael (Brandon Quinn) is one of her assignments. When she over-commits to volunteering for charities, she puts Michael in charge of Operation Santa Claus - a charity to give military children the best Christmas possible.

On one hand, the characters are actual military members. Chloe was in the Army before she became a counselor, Michael recently left active duty, Chloe’s sister is still in the Army. On the other hand, I’m not sure how realistic the Army is in this. I’m not familiar with Army life but they all seem to be civilians that occasionally wear uniforms. We literally never see Chloe’s sister in uniform but she claims that General O’Toole (Tim Reid) is her commanding officer. We don’t even see her ‘snap to attention’ or anything when he approaches the family. If you’re in a military family, could you please let me know if this is something that happens or is this Lifetime taking liberties?

A Welcome Home Christmas is one of those movies that isn’t good but it isn’t bad either. It isn’t particularly boring, like most of the Christmas fare thrust upon us. There is just something about it that makes it watchable. I’m not sure exactly what that is. Maybe it’s LondonRose Sellars as Savannah. She isn’t the main character but she is a darn good actress. I hope to see good things from her in the future.

Anyway, if you like Christmas movies or movies about the military or movies about charity, you might enjoy this one. It’s at least good enough for one sit-through.

The Christmas Bow | 2020 Christmas Movies

It’s a Christmas bow. A violin bow…not a bow you put on presents. Get it?

Kate (Lucia Micarelli) is a concert violinist. When she injures her hand shortly after auditioning for the philharmonic, she turns to her childhood friend, Patrick (Michael Rady), to help her get her hand back in shape for her Christmas performance.

We have another musician movie. And her family owns a music shop too! The difference between The Christmas Bow and the other Christmas musician movies this year is that Kate hasn’t lost her passion for her art. Instead, her art was taken from her. She is desperately trying to get her hand to function like it did before the accident but it’s taking longer than she would like. It does make a huge difference in the mood of the movie. We see her trying and failing and getting frustrated and I love that. The arts isn’t always passion and want. Sometimes you want to do something and you physically can’t and it sucks. I’m glad that there is finally a movie showing that side.

I quite liked that there are a lot of Asian actors cast in the major roles. We don’t see a lot of non-white actors in Christmas movies. Especially not as the starring characters. Also, Micarelli is actually a violinist and that helped bring a dose of reality.

Overall, the movie wasn’t amazing. Patrick’s character was unrealistic. While I understand that the movie wanted him to be indecisive about his Big Decision so we would want him to stay in town with Kate, he kinda came off more wishy-washy than just indecisive. It was a bit of a turn-off, to be honest. However, I would recommend watching it, if only for Micarelli’s violin performances. She may not be a wonderful actress but she is an amazing musician.

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater | 2020 Christmas Movies

Just when you thought that Christmas movie titles couldn’t get any stupider, Hallmark throws this at us. Is there a longer title than Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater? I don’t think so.

Maggie (Ashley Williams) is a single mom who will spending Christmas alone. Until she accidentally injures Lucas (Niall Matter) and invites him to stay in her art studio until he heals.

Yes, Lucas is actually wearing an ugly Christmas sweater the first time Maggie meets him. Of course, that’s about as far as the title relating to the plot goes. The rest of the movie is about Maggie and Lucas volunteering at a holiday camp for children of military parents. And….that’s about it.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot to say about the movie. The acting is subpar. (My husband actually commented about the delivery of one of Williams’ lines: “She doesn’t sound like she believes that.” ) The story is dull. Everything is just bland. Though I suppose one positive point is that no one has a weird obsession with hot chocolate. They straight up say they drink coffee. (Yes, I’m getting tired of everyone raving about hot chocolate or cocoa.)

I would say to skip this one. Or turn it on in the background while you’re running the vacuum. Sadly, this is another movie not worth watching.

Candy Cane Christmas | 2020 Christmas Movies

Once again, Lifetime is letting me down. Can’t they at least come up with a good title? Or change the script to make the title a little more relevant? It’s getting ridiculous.

As a child, Phoebe (Beverley Mitchell) and her best friend, Laurie (Benedicte Belizaire), went to Candy Cane Lane - a Christmas light display put on by people in their neighborhood. This year, the neighbors have decided to skip the display. Disappointed, Phoebe tries to find new traditions to fill her Christmas season.

For the record, this movie has nothing to do with candy canes. I don’t even know why they named the light display Candy Cane Lane. From what I could tell, it was mostly a drive-through thing with Santa at the end. There wasn’t anything particularly special or magical that would make a child swear to visit every year for the rest of their life.

That brings us to Phoebe, who spends most of the movie whining about the loss of the display. When she agrees to try to find new things to fill her boring Christmas life, her big things are: a toy drive for foster children and teaching senior citizens how to make wreaths. Neither of those are really traditions, nor do they take up a ton of time. Then again, I’m not sure how much time she spent helping with the light display because we never see her working on it, only talking about how much she loves it. She talks a lot.

The love interest, Eric (Mark Ghanimé), isn’t any better. He says “I didn’t think about that” a lot. It’s like his entire personality revolves around him and his aunt. Anything beyond that doesn’t occur to him. Considering this guy is supposed to be a veterinarian, you would think that he would be a little more thoughtful of the people around him.

I tried really hard to like Candy Cane Christmas. I spent way too much time trying to figure out why characters were doing what they were doing. The payoff wasn’t worth it. Skip this movie. Go to a drive-through Christmas light display instead. Maybe that will give you some Christmas cheer. Because this won’t.