Under Wraps | 2021 Halloween Movies

There is this period of time where I was too old to watch Disney Channel movies and my daughter wasn’t born yet so there were no children in the house either. As a result, there is a chunk of movies from the late-1990s that I am not familiar with. The original version of Under Wraps is one of those movies. Now that I know that the 2021 version is a remake, I feel a little silly getting so excited seeing a new Halloween movie on Disney’s roster.

Marshall (Malachi Barton) is a 12-year old boy obsessed with horror movies and monsters. During a school field trip, he learns about a mummy that was stolen in route to the local museum. The museum has the female mummy but not her true love. Marshall with his best friend, Gilbert (Christian J Simon), and new friend, Amy (Sophia Hammons), find the stolen mummy in the basement of Marshall’s weird neighbor. The mummy, who Marshall names Harold (Phil Wright), comes to life when the moonlight hits his amulet but he only has three days to get back to his true love…and his coffin…before he turns to dust.

I know I’m not the target audience for this movie. Especially since it’s a fairly standard Disney Channel Original Movie (aka DCOM). However, of the DCOM that I am familiar with, this one wasn’t awful. There were some cute throwbacks to other Disney media that I do know. They played the remake of China Anne McClain’s song “Calling All The Monsters” from the A.N.T. Farm series. And I’m pretty sure I saw a couple of the characters from the DCOM Zombies. That definitely made me pay a little more attention to the movie than I normally would have.

While I do think Under Wraps is watchable, I think it really is intended for a younger audience. I bet kids in the 8-13 age range would probably get some enjoyment out of the movie. Or if you really, really like watching DCOMs, I suppose. But there are definitely some better kid-appropriate movies out there this year. Unless you are hooked on watching a Disney movie, I would say skip this and watch Nightbooks instead.

The Chestnut Man | 2021 Halloween Movies

Netflix is really opening itself up to the international movie world. In addition to the South Korean Squid Game series, the streaming service also gives us the Danish The Chestnut Man series. While they are both Netflix-funded series outside of the US, they couldn’t be more different.

In a Copenhagen suburb, a woman is found brutally murdered. One of the main pieces of evidence the police have to work with is a small figure of a man made of chestnuts hanging from a nearby tree. This chestnut man links the murder with the disappearance of a child a year earlier. How does all of this fit together?

Once again, I watched this series dubbed in English instead of the original Danish language. While I don’t think the dub was particularly good, I don’t know that it changed my opinion of the show.

I think the best part of the series was the acting. Both Danica Curcic as the main detective, Naia Thulin, and her partner, Mark Hess, played by Mikkel Boe Følsgaard were so good. You could feel everything they were going through, both professionally and personally. I don’t want to give too much of the plot away but the bad guy was also portrayed very well.

Unfortunately, the bad part of the series, in my opinion, is the pacing. Maybe this is a European thing but the show started so slowly. It took me a couple of days just to get through the first two episodes. Once you get past episode three, though? The case picks up and it’s difficult to stop watching. Since the show is only six episodes long, it kinda sucks that the first 1/3 of it is so slow. Maybe if there were some more dramatic cliffhangers at the end of each episode, I would have been drawn in a bit more in the beginning.

The only other issue I had is actually with Netflix and not the show itself. Netflix put this on their list of Halloween thriller movies for 2021. While the show is listed as a psychological thriller, it wasn’t particularly thrilling. It felt more like a police procedural show like Law & Order or NYPD Blue. I don’t think this should have been marketed as a Halloween release. People tend to expect a lot of Halloween fare.

If you enjoy series from outside the US, you would probably like this. But if you are used to American television, you might end up very bored. I do think it is worth a watch if you can power through the slow times.

Muppets Haunted Mansion | 2021 Halloween Movies

The Muppets have had a long career. Yet they have never released a Halloween special. I suppose the past year and a half has been scary for everyone because here is their very first Halloween special!

Loosely based on the Haunted Mansion ride at the Disney parks, the story begins with Gonzo going to a party in honor of his favorite magician, the Great MacGuffin. Pepe the King Prawn goes along anxious to meet some ladies. When they arrive at the mansion, they are told that the mansion is haunted and no one ever leaves. However, if they can survive one night, they will be able to leave. Otherwise, they will be trapped there forever.

As a fan of the Haunted Mansion ride, it was fun to see all of the parts of the attraction interact with each other. Granted, this isn’t the exact ride. Miss Piggy portrays the fortune teller head in the crystal ball, Will Arnett plays the Host, Taraji P. Henson plays The Bride, etc. But I enjoyed the interpretations of the animatronics. I had a lot of fun trying to figure out where in the ride each character “lived.”

There, honestly, isn’t a whole lot to say about the special. It’s pretty typical Muppets fare, except this time it’s centered around Gonzo instead of Kermit and Piggy. The human actors were good. Darren Criss was very funny as The Caretaker. Will Arnett is always funny. I think the only thing I didn’t like about the show was that the credits went by way too fast for me to see who all was in it. There are some quick scenes - the Singing Busts, for example - that went by too fast for me to identify everyone and then the credits went by too fast as well. But that is what they make the internet for. I can look that up easily.

This is an easy special to recommend. If you like the Muppets or the Haunted Mansion ride, you are likely to love the special. If you are an old fuddy duddy stick in the mud, there are plenty of other things for you to watch. The Muppets are awesome.

Escape The Undertaker | 2021 Halloween Movies

It’s a little disingenuous to call Escape The Undertaker a movie. I mean, it’s not a series - it’s just one 30-minute episode. But since it is only 30 minutes, can it really be classified a movie? It’s also interactive. You get to choose what the characters do. I guess it can be called an interactive short. We’ll go with that.

Three wrestlers - Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods, collectively known as The New Day - enter The Undertaker’s mansion in order to obtain his urn of power. You, the viewer, decide where the men go and what they do. The question is - will they succeed or will you get them killed?

Admittedly, I did not play through all of the options you are given. It would require multiple viewings and I’m just not that interested in wrestling. My husband, who is more familiar with the sport, will probably go through it a couple of times himself. I’m not sure that more viewings would change my opinion anyway.

Despite not being familiar with any of the people starring in this short, I found it quite funny. There were a few times that The New Day had me chuckling. And there were definitely some interesting choices to make. Like “Fight The Undertaker” or “Flee.” Frequently, the trio would break up and you would have to decide who you would go with. That’s why I haven’t played through it more. You figure three guys with a couple of two-choice decisions each. There’s a lot of replayability here.

I can’t make a “should you watch it” decision on this one because it’s not a passive watching experience. Do you want to play a funny game about a bunch of wrestlers? This is for you. Do you want to see if you can make decisions that will get one or all of them killed? This is for you. Do you hate The Undertaker and you want The New Day to take him down? This is for you. Either way, give it at least one run-through. If you hate it, stop playing. But if you love it, you can play it over and over again until you have selected every option possible. And maybe you’ll have a few laughs along the way.

V/H/S/94 | 2021 Halloween Movies

Shudder, the horror movie channel, has entered the Halloween fray with V/H/S/94. This is the fourth installment in the series. I haven’t watched the other three so I’m not sure if I’ll get lost in a storyline or whatnot.

V/H/S/94 is a “found footage” anthology series. There are four separate stories strung together with an overarching story about a SWAT team raiding a warehouse for drugs. The four stories consist of “Storm Drain,” a story about a rat-man living in the sewers of a small town; “The Empty Wake,” where a woman has to host a late night viewing at a funeral home by herself; “The Subject,” which is the story of a mad scientist kidnapping people to turn them into creatures; and “Terror,” a weirdly political vampire tale.

Like any anthology movie, there are good stories and there are not-as-good stories. I didn’t think “Storm Drain” was particularly entertaining. The story didn’t make a lot of sense and the acting was cheesy. Sometimes cheesy is good. But you need a good story to make up for the cheesiness.

“The Empty Wake” was a little bit better but it took a very long time to get to the action. There’s a lot of…well, empty time where the woman (Kyal Legend) is just sitting there. The end was interesting. It just took too long to get there.

My favorite story out of all of them was “The Subject.” We barely see the creatures. Actually, most of the movie is from the female creature’s point of view. So what we see is everyone’s reactions to the creatures. It is pretty terrifying. I think I would like to a full length movie with this premise.

As for “Terror,” I’m not sure how I feel about it. It starts out with domestic terrorism and ends up with vampires. I see what the writer wanted to do with the story, I’m just not sure it worked out well. This is another instance where I think the story needed more time to develop the characters and really bring everything together. I probably would watch a full length movie about this if it was done right. Terrorism can be a tricky subject though.

Finally, that overarching story they called “Holy Hell.” I wanted to like these parts so bad. But the camerawork is terrible. I understand that it’s supposed to be a found footage documentary type thing but the camera swings all over the place, not giving you a chance to really see what is going on. Especially since the warehouse setting isn’t lit very well. At least the good stories trapped inside “Holy Hell” made watching the movie worthwhile.

With all that said, do I think you should watch this… If you are a fan of found footage type movies, you might get a kick out of it. But if you are looking for some actual Halloween thrills, you aren’t likely to find them there. I spent more time thinking “Oh, that is interesting” or “I wonder how they did that effect” instead of being pulled into the stories. I think the people who would enjoy this film the most are the ones that love cheesy C-list horror movies. If you are into Goblin, or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, or maybe even Sharknado, this may be for you.

There's Someone Inside Your House | 2021 Halloween Movies

When I turned on Netflix, There’s Someone Inside Your House was billed as a throwback to old school horror movies. Teenagers, sex. parties, and murder. What else do you need?

Makani (Sydney Park) has moved from Hawaii to Nebraska to live with her grandmother. Starting over with a new last name and new friends, Makani thought she could escape her past. But a serial killer is stalking the students of Osborne High School, exposing their darkest secrets before murdering them. Will Makani’s past be exposed or will she be able to stop the killer in time?

This movie is based on a 2017 book by Stephanie Perkins. I haven’t read the book so I can’t say whether this was a faithful translation. From what I can tell, this is the first horror story from Perkins but it’s also the first horror movie from screenwriter Henry Gayden. Whoever is to blame for this really needs to sit down and watch some better teen horror movies.

My first issue with the movie was how much time lapsed between each kill. The movie is 96 minutes long. In that time, there are four murders. Four. There are a couple of close calls but there aren’t any more kills. For comparison, 1996’s Scream was 111 minutes long and had eight murders. Fifteen minutes longer and twice as many deaths. That is a horror movie.

Next, Makani’s big secret is stupid. Really, all of the secrets are kinda stupid. There’s a couple of seriously violent hazing incidents, a racist, and a drug addict. Now the hazing incidents were already known by other people….they were there. The drug addict didn’t do a very good job of hiding his addiction. And the racist is also no big surprise. All of these things suck but I’m not sure any of them were worthy of murder. Well, maybe the hazing incidents….

Again, There’s Someone Inside Your House is just boring. There isn’t anything worth watching here. Let’s just pretend it doesn’t exist. OK?

Midnight Mass | 2021 Halloween Movies

Midnight Mass is our second 2021 horror series from Netflix. They did pretty well with Squid Game but can the Americans outdo the South Koreans when it comes to horror? Let’s get to it.

Crockett Island is an isolated fishing village with a population of 127. Most people left the island for the mainland. However, a few have returned. Riley (Zach Gilford) has returned after spending a few years in prison for a drunk driving incident that killed a young woman. Erin (Kate Siegel) has also returned, although now she is pregnant. In addition. a new priest, Father Paul (Hamish Linklater), has arrived to temporarily replace the elderly Monsignor while he recovers from an illness. Shortly after Father Paul has taken over, miracles begin to happen. Leeza (Annarah Cymone), a teenager confined to a wheelchair, is able to stand and walk again. Older members of the community are beginning to feel the aches and pains of aging fade. Is God blessing the community or is something more sinister going on?

It isn’t often that I get blindsided by a twist in a movie. By the time the third act starts, I frequently know how things will end and I can just cheer for the main character. Midnight Mass not only surprised me, it kept me guessing about what was going to happen next. Would the show follow the lore or the religion? Would the characters figure out what is happening in their town? My husband and I would have long conversations about what we thought would happen in the next episode. While I’m not sure where the story would go from here, I really do hope that there is a sequel. Perhaps this could turn into an anthology like American Horror Story . It would make a pretty cool series where things are kinda related but also very different.

Just because I’m talking about the story, don’t think that the actors are lacking. Everyone is so convincing in their roles. I truly felt bad for them when things started to go badly. Well, I felt bad for most of them. There were some that I was hoping would get taken out. I’m looking at you, Bev (Samantha Sloyan). But every good show needs someone to offset the protagonists. And they were very good bad guys.

Now even though I enjoyed the series tremendously, I don’t think that everyone should watch it. If you are super religious, you might find the show a little offensive. But if you are comfortable in your faith or if you aren’t Catholic, I think you would enjoy the series. It is only seven episodes long. And I wish it were longer.

No One Gets Out Alive | 2021 Halloween Movies

Since No One Gets Out Alive is from the UK, it falls under the category of foreign film. So far, the foreign horror/thriller films have been pretty hit or miss. Maybe I need to start a tally sheet…

Ambar (Cristina Rodlo) is an undocumented Mexican immigrant living in the United States. In order to save money to buy a fake ID, she moves into a boarding house for women run by Red (Marc Menchaca) and his brother, Becker (David Figlioli). Soon, Ambar notices strange things happening at the house. Wanting to get her ID sooner, Ambar convinces Red to give her back the deposit she left for her room. Becker doesn’t agree with his brother about the money. Unfortunately, Ambar learns what is happening to all of the women in the house. Now she is doomed to the same fate.

I didn’t realize that this was a British movie. I thought it was from a Latin American country. Now that I know it’s British, some of the issues with the movie make a little more sense.

While No One wasn’t terrible, it has a pacing problem. A majority of the movie is spend with Ambar trying to hide the fact that she is undocumented. And I don’t mean that we see her facing racism or classism, unless you count her crappy job with her crappy boss. Most of the time that we see Ambar, she is trying to get a fake ID from her co-worker, Kinsi (Moronke Akinola). I think that this was supposed to make us feel bad for her but it doesn’t. Her undocumented status doesn’t isolate her from anyone. Almost the opposite. She has a job, even though she is terrible at it. She has a cousin (or maybe an uncle? I think he gets referred to as both) who invites her over for dinner and gives her a nice winter jacket. She even has friends, though Kensi is a terrible friend. The undocumented thing should have been nothing more than a footnote in her life.

Since this fake ID thing takes up so much time, we don’t really get to the “thriller” part of the movie until it’s almost over. We know that people in the house are dying. It’s the freaking title of the movie. However, we don’t see why until about the 60 minute mark. The movie is only 85 minutes long. I would have loved to have seen the “why” earlier in the movie in order to give Ambar a little more time at the end to react to the outcome. As it is, I’m not completely sure what happens to her when the credits roll.

I honestly don’t know how to rate this film. I wanted it to be more like a terrifying Pan’s Labyrinth but instead got The Mist. Is there a way you could just watch the last half hour or so? The rest of the movie isn’t really necessary for it. Otherwise, just go watch something else. There are better movies that came out this year.

The Guilty | 2021 Halloween Movies

The Guilty is yet another movie that I knew nothing about going in. I actually didn’t even know that Jake Gyllenhaal was in it until Facebook heard me talking about watching the movie and threw me an article naming him in the headline. So, I mean, it must be a good movie if Jake Gyllenhaal is in it, right?

Joe Baylor (Gyllenhaal) is a LAPD officer working the 9-1-1 call center. This doesn’t seem to be his usual job. It seems like he has been put on “desk duty” for some unknown reason. While answering calls, he is either angry or dismissive toward the people calling him for help. Until he gets a call from Emily (Riley Keough). He believes that she has been abducted. Joe stays after his shift is over, talking with various members of the California Highway Patrol and the LAPD in order to find Emily and save her family.

This year is the year of the pandemic movie. The Guilty has a small handful of actors in person (I think there are 5 or 6 total) who are spaced fairly far away from each other. All of the other characters are only voices. As a matter of fact, the director (Antoine Fuqua) had contact with a Covid-19 positive person and directed the entire film from a van. It gives the whole movie this weird disconnected feel. You can see people are there but they aren’t really interacting with each other. It’s kinda creepy.

Unfortunately, that is the only creepy thing about this movie. Netflix has it listed as a thriller. I didn’t think there was anything particularly thrilling about it. I had a difficult time understanding a lot of the dialog because it’s almost entirely over a phone (there are, I think, three characters that Joe talks to in person) and a majority of the characters are either sobbing or screaming. It can be difficult to understand what someone is saying when they are crying and you can see their face. It’s almost impossible when the conversation is over a phone, which would have been a great commentary on the difficulties of working in a 9-1-1 call center but Joe didn’t seem to have a lot of trouble understanding her. (He had the script, duh.)

To be honest, I found a lot of the movie really boring. I completely understand the restrictions placed on the production due to the pandemic. However, this is a remake of a 2018 Danish movie, which was made before the pandemic and still involves mostly voice-overs. A lot of reviews say the original was much better. For one, the set is dramatically different. In the 2021 version, the call center has giant screens showing news footage around California (mostly of wildfires). The 2018 version has them sitting in a small drab office, which is closer to reality. I’m not sure if the original is available to stream in the US but I am definitely interested in seeing it. It can’t be any worse than this, right?

Nightbooks | 2021 Halloween Movies

The phrase “family friendly” is a bit of a double edged sword. On one hand, there are some amazing PG rated movies out there. On the other hand, calling something “family friendly” tends make people think a movie is dumbed down or boring. This year, Netflix released Nightbooks, a movie based on a 2018 horror-fantasy children’s book. It definitely piqued my interest.

Alex (Winslow Fegley) loves writing scary stories. After a particularly bad day at school, he trashes his room and decides to destroy all of his “Nightbooks,” the notebooks that house his creations. On the way to the apartment building’s furnace, he gets coerced into one of the other apartments. Soon, he finds that he is trapped in the apartment of an evil witch, Natasha (Krysten Ritter), who forces him to tell a scary story every night after dinner. Along with Yazmin (Lidya Jewett), another child Natasha trapped, Alex must find a way to leave the apartment and get back to his parents.

It took me a little while to get into the plot of Nightbooks. I thought it was going to be another anthology movie like Twilight Zone: The Movie or Tales from the Darkside. Boy, was I wrong. The stories within the plot are but a small part of the actual storyline. As a matter of fact, when I thought we were reaching the end of the film, I found that we were actually only halfway through it. I couldn’t figure out how they were going to squeeze another 45 minutes out of a story that seemed to be over. And those 45 minutes were the best parts of the movie.

On top of the pretty amazing storyline, the acting was superb. Krysten Ritter was breath-taking as Natasha. Part of it was the special effects when she used her magic but a lot of it was Ritter’s take on the character. That’s not to say the kids didn’t do a great job as well. There wasn’t a time that I wasn’t convinced that these kids were scared that they were going to die at any minute.

I loved Nightbooks so much. This was the perfect example of how you could make a terrific movie with an extremely small cast. Yes, this was filmed at the end of 2020 during the Covid-19 pandemic. Any movie that doesn’t look at this and feel bad that they couldn’t pull off something so wonderful should feel ashamed of itself.

Well, I think you get the idea. You should definitely watch this movie. Actually, you should add it to your annual Halloween movie list along with Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare Before Christmas. I hope they make a sequel and I hope it is just as good.