Grimcutty | Halloween 2022

When I was making my list of Halloween movies, I saw the title Grimcutty. For some reason, it made me think of the Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty. When I finally got to see the thumbnail art on Hulu, I realized that Grimcutty is nothing like Gritty. It is very, very different.

A new meme is sweeping the internet. Kids are watching videos about Grimcutty then cutting themselves, sometimes to the point of suicide. As the parents in town start to worry more, they lock away all of the family technology. But, somehow, kids are injuring themselves more and more every day. What is the real cause of the Grimcutty problem?

Unexpectedly, Grimcutty may be the best horror movie that I have watched this entire Halloween season. Not only did it have the right amount of mystery, it was also true to the fear that parents feel when they read articles about all of the terrible things kids come across on the internet. The story kept both me and my husband wondering exactly where it was going for most of the movie. When we realized what was happening, I was actually happy it wasn’t something else. It’s not very often that I can say that a movie’s twist makes me happy.

Grimcutty is absolutely a movie you should watch. Especially if you have kids. Everyone can relate to the characters in some way but parents will walk away with a very important lesson learned. And it’s a lesson that I think every single parent should learn.

Dark Glasses | Halloween 2022

Italian horror movies are supposed to be some of the best. Of course, that usually goes along with being the goriest but I was willing to take that chance with Dark Glasses. Especially since this is from the “Master of Horror,” Dario Argento, who hasn’t released a film since 2012. This movie definitely has some big shoes to fill.

Sex workers in Rome are being murdered. Diana (Ilenia Pastorelli), who works as an escort, is attacked one night after work. A white van runs into the back of her car, pushing it into an intersection. Her car flips over another car, resulting in a brain hemorrhage that leaves her blind. Unfortunately, only a young child named Chin (Xinyu Zhang) survives from the other car. Despite her new disability, the killer will do what it takes to finally kill Diana.

I tried to go into Dark Glasses without any expectations. I knew the hype around Italian horror movies and this director in particular so I had high hopes. Sadly, I was let down. Instead of giving us a reason for the serial killer murdering all of these sex workers, the movie spends most of its time focusing on Diana’s blindness. The murder scenes aren’t even all that good. Most of them look extremely fake and we don’t get to spend enough time with the characters to care that they are dying. To be honest, Glasses feels like the first draft of a film student’s first production. Definitely not what I expected from Argento.

Yeah, you should go ahead and skip this one. It is both way too long and way too short. There is a good story hidden underneath the slow plot. Perhaps someone will remake the movie and do a better job. That would be cool.

Control | Halloween 2022

Sometimes, when I go through lists of Halloween-ish movies released in a year, I come across titles that I’m not quite sure fit the “Halloween” genre. I just cross my fingers and hope they are both good and on theme. I’m not sure Control is either of those things.

Eileen (Sara Mitich) is a captive inside a strange container. In between bouts of unconsciousness, she is given tasks by a mysterious voice. If she does not complete these tasks within the given timeframe, her daughter will be killed.

While a movie doesn’t need a huge cast in order to be good, this movie consists of three actors - two adults and one child - and one voiceover actor. They are all perfectly fine actors. However, they aren’t really given anything good to work with. In order to try to figure out when the “good part” would happen, I kept pausing the movie to look at how much time was left. Alas, the good part never came. Instead, we keep getting the same thing over and over - Eileen getting testing in an attempt to bring out psychic powers. We never get a reason why the mysterious voice wanted to bring out her psychic powers and we only vaguely get a reason why she was being tested. Spoiler alert: It wasn’t a good reason. It was actually quite stupid.

Needless to say, I do not recommend watching Control. Nothing happens for a majority of the 90-minute runtime. And when something does happen, it is so boring that you wish it didn’t. I am very disappointed that I wasted my time on it.

Halloween Ends | Halloween 2022

We come to the end of the recent Halloween trilogy with Halloween Ends. Who will be victorious -former babysitter Laurie Strode or evil Michael Myers? Or is there someone new?

Halloween - 2019: Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell) is filling in last minute as a babysitter for Jeremy (Jaxon Goldenberg). When Jeremy locks Corey in the attic as a prank, Corey accidentally kills Jeremy by kicking open the door, sending Jeremy careening over the third floor balcony. Despite being cleared of manslaughter, Corey is still being bullied by the townsfolk in 2022. During one such fight, Corey cuts his hand open on a smashed glass bottle. Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) saves Corey from the bullies and takes him to the hospital, where her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) works as a nurse. Allyson quickly falls in love with Corey, even though Laurie can sense evil in the young man. After another fight with high school bullies, Corey is thrown off a bridge, only to be rescued by Michael Myers (James Jude Courtney). This only brings out more evil in Corey. Can Allyson see the evil before it is too late?

There are thirteen films in the Halloween franchise. I am only familiar with the three in this trilogy: Halloween, Halloween Kills, and Halloween Ends. With that said, I thought that Ends was the weakest of the three films. A majority of this film focuses on Corey’s plight in town and his budding relationship with Allyson. It takes something like 45 minutes before we see the first hint of Michael’s existence and the first murder (excluding Jeremy’s accidental death). Considering the movie is just under 2 hours long, that is almost the halfway point. That is a long time to wait for a death in a slasher movie.

Sadly, instead of murders, the movie is filled with Corey being bullied by teenagers, Corey being screamed at by his mother, Corey at work, Allyson at work, and Laurie writing a book about Michael Meyers. It is all very boring. I understand wanting to giving Laurie and Allyson a bit more of a normal life but it feels very out of character after the events of Halloween Kills. Even though Ends takes place three years after Kills, the sheer body count and terror Michael wreaked should have kept Laurie and Allyson on edge for much longer. I’m not sure there’s enough therapy in the world to cure what they went through.

If you watched the other two movies, you might as well finish off the trilogy. It does give a decent ending to the Laurie/Michael story. But is that the end of the Halloween franchise? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Spirit Halloween The Movie | Halloween 2022

We all rolled our eyes when Spirit Halloween The Movie was announced, right? I mean, it’s a movie based on a retail store. What could it possibly be about? Let me tell you.

A long time ago, Alec Windsor (Christopher Lloyd) was an evil man trying to steal the land from an orphanage. However, the woman running the orphanage is a witch who kills Windsor with a curse. Years later, three teenagers - Jake (Donovan Colan), Bo (Jaiden J Smith), and Carson (Dylan Martin Frankel) - are trying to figure out what to do for Halloween. They decide to spend the night in the Spirit Halloween store that just opened in the abandoned strip mall. Little did they know that Windsor’s spirit haunts that plot of land every year on the anniversary of his death.

Despite having acting heavyweights Christopher Lloyd, Marla Gibbs, and Rachael Leigh Cook on the roster, the three adults get very little screen time. Instead, we are focused on the three boys and Carson’s older sister, Kate (Marissa Reyes), none of whom have more than ten acting credits to their names. Thankfully, the movie doesn’t require A-list acting. Most of it is spent with Lloyd’s character, Windsor, possessing various animatronics around the store and chasing the kids. Nothing particularly scary, to be honest. I’m not really sure why the movie earned a PG-13 rating over PG. Maybe the idea of ghosts scared the rating board.

Spirit Halloween The Movie would be an ideal Halloween movie for the younger crowd. Probably in the pre-teen to early-teen age range. Unless they are already terrified by the animatronics in the store, they aren’t likely to be scared by much in here. But, if you aren’t sure your kids should watch it, it is only 80 minutes long. You can easily give it a quick watch before showing it to the younger kids.

Hellraiser | Halloween 2022

I never watched the original Hellraiser. As a matter of fact, all I really know about the movie is the main villain is Pinhead. Until I wrote this review, I didn’t even know that wasn’t actually the character’s name. It was just something the fans called him. Interesting. Anyway, I’m simply noting that I know nothing about the original movie or its franchise. I’m going into the 2022 version a complete newbie.

There is a puzzle box where someone dies every time its configuration changes. Six years after millionaire Roland Voight (Goran Visnjic) solves the final puzzle and mysteriously disappears, recovering drug addict Riley (Odessa A’zion) and her boyfriend Trevor (Drew Starkey) steal the puzzle box from a safe in an abandoned warehouse. As Riley begins to solve the puzzle box, people begin to disappear. By the time she realizes that the box is killing people, it may be too late to do anything about it.

Maybe modern horror movies have spoiled me too much. I thought this version of Hellraiser was boring. So there are supposed to be six deaths/sacrifices to the puzzle box. We know of five deaths, two of which happen off-screen and we only hear about them, when Riley is offered the Final Prize. I sat here at my desk counting and recounting the deaths to try to figure out who I missed. My husband, who is a big horror movie fan, simply replied with “Horror movie logic.” It annoys me when a movie gives us its rules then proceeds to break them. I’m willing to believe that a group of terrifying beings require blood sacrifices in order to gift someone a messed up version of a wish. But when you break the rules you set about those blood sacrifices, you have effectively taken me out of the suspension of disbelief.

I wish I could say that the visual effects made up for the lack of stability in the plot. There are one or two pretty cool scenes and Voight’s mansion is also pretty cool. The makeup for a couple of the Cenobites was interesting but that is about it. For the most part, like every other modern movie, it is too dark to see much of anything happening. I know movie people like to blame modern televisions but I cannot believe that absolutely everyone has their televisions on the “wrong settings” that result in completely pitch black scenes. Directors and editors need to figure out what they are doing wrong and fix it. It makes me dislike your product the more I consume it.

If you are a fan of the original Hellraiser, you might get some enjoyment out of this remake. My husband didn’t think it was terrible. Personally, I didn’t like it. I would much rather watch Sissy or Lou.

Werewolf By Night | Halloween 2022

Marvel Studios has given us a spooky Halloween special this year. Werewolf By Night takes its inspiration from the 1930s-1950s classic Universal monsters. That gives this special a little different look than most Marvel productions.

Ulysses Bloodstone (Richard Dixon), leader of a secret group of monster hunters, has passed away. His legendary magical Bloodstone has to find its next owner. The top hunters gather to decide who should receive the stone. They will need to enter a labyrinth in order to find and kill the monster held within. The hunter that kills the monster and retrieves the stone will become the next leader of the group.

The majority of Werewolf by Night is in black and white. While it gives the special a spooky feeling, some of the details in the makeup work is lost. In old black and white movies or television shows, the objects we saw as white on screen often weren’t white in person. Famously, the living room from The Addams Family television show was pink. The color gave the black and white show some depth. I wish that the makeup artists in Werewolf by Night used the same techniques. We probably would have been able to see some of the makeup a bit better if they were pink or red in person.

Despite being disappointed by the makeup, the special itself wasn’t terrible. I thought the big twist was quite obvious from the beginning, especially with this specific title. With that said, I did enjoy the action scenes. Elsa Bloodstone (Laura Donnelly), the estranged daughter of Ulysses, was absolutely amazing. I would have watched an entire series of just her fighting anything. Her fight scenes made up for the lack of drama in the story.

While I don’t think this will be considered one of the best pieces of Marvel media that has been released, it is a decent watch. It is a little less than an hour long so it won’t take up a ton of time. But if you like the old school Universal monsters like Dracula or Frankenstein or The Werewolf, you will probably find some enjoyment here.

Sissy | Halloween 2022

An influencer, a childhood friend, and a childhood bully. The perfect combination for a night of…well, murder. It’s spooky season. We knew this was going to end in murder.

Cecilia (Aisha Dee) is a mental health influencer. While out shopping, she runs into her best friend from childhood, Emma (Hannah Barlow). Emma invites Cecilia, formerly known as Sissy, to join her new friends at a bachelorette weekend in the country. Unbeknownst to Cecilia, Emma is still friends with Alex (Emily De Margheriti), Cecilia’s childhood bully. The weekend takes a dark turn when Alex continues to bully Cecilia and no one steps in to stop her.

Both my husband and I thoroughly enjoyed Sissy. The way that we got to see all of the ways that Emma bullied Cecilia, both in childhood and as an adult, was brilliant. It also highlighted poor Cecilia’s descent into madness. She wasn’t a psychopath, she wasn’t out for revenge, she just wanted the bullying to stop. Alex even got Emma’s new friends, Jamie (Daniel Monks) and Tracey (Yerin Ha), to participate in the bullying, even though they thought Cecilia couldn’t hear them. After all of this torment and trauma, Cecilia’s actions were not surprising. As a matter of fact, my husband and I agreed that there was only one person that didn’t deserve their bloody fate. No, I’m not going to spoil which one it was. I’ll let you watch the movie and guess yourself.

And, yes, I think you should watch Sissy. It does get bloody and a bit gory but it’s not prolonged gore. You can avert your eyes for a few seconds and still not miss any of the story. I’m not sure that the writers intended this to be an anti-bullying story. I think we’re supposed to feel bad for the victims. But I think this is a wonderful way to show people that they shouldn’t bully other people. You never know if the bullied person is going to finally go on the attack.

Mr Harrigan's Phone | Halloween 2022

Cell phones aren’t scary, right? Stephen King wants to prove you wrong with Mr. Harrigan’s Phone.

When Craig (Jaeden Martell) was a young boy, he was hired by the elderly billionaire Mr. Harrigan (Donald Sutherland) to read to him twice a week. As Craig gets older, he continues to visit the old man, resulting in them becoming friendly. Well, as friendly as Mr. Harrigan can get. One Christmas, Craig wins $3,000 from the scratch off lottery ticket Mr. Harrigan gifted him. He saves most of the money but decides to use some of it to buy Mr. Harrigan an iPhone to match the one his father gave him. Craig teaches Mr. Harrigan how to use the phone, though the old man is reluctant. After Mr. Harrigan passes away and Craig places in the phone in Harrison’s coat pocket at this burial, Craig continues to call the phone to vent about the troubles in his life. Those people then start to die themselves. Is Mr. Harrigan avenging his young friend from beyond the grave?

This movie version of Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is based on a novella Stephen King published in a 2020 collection called If It Bleeds. As this is a short story, it’s only about 88 pages long, there isn’t a lot that happens. The back story that we get for Craig is basically that his mom died, leaving both him and his dad (Joe Tippett) very sad. I don’t think his dad even gets a name in the movie. For Mr. Harrigan, we’re told that he’s hated by a lot of people…I think because he was a rich businessman that may have been an asshole? I’m not completely sure. And there’s a scene where Craig looks in Harrigan’s mysterious closet after the elder man dies. Somehow Craig figures out that Harrigan was like him, in that his mother also died when he was a boy. I know that King is trying to equate Craig with Harrigan but it comes off messy. There are scenes to insinuate that Harrigan was an uncaring rich man that maybe bullied the people that worked for him where Craig does nothing but care for the people around him and he is terribly bullied by Kenny Yankovich (Cyrus Arnold) at school. I think it would have been better if we just left it as the revenge being Harrigan’s way of showing Craig that he cared for him, even if he couldn’t show it when he was alive.

Does all of that mean this was a bad movie? Not at all. It’s just not very interesting. Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is something that you watch when you want a movie that won’t make you think too hard. Or if you really like Stephen King, I suppose. It wasn’t a waste of 106 minutes but it wasn’t super enjoyable either. Very middle of the road.

Who Invited Them | Halloween 2022

Shudder usually has a lot of original movies this time of year. Some are good, some are not so good. Today, I’m going to take a look at Who Invited Them to see if we should invite them.

Adam (Ryan Hansen) and Margo (Melissa Tang) have bought a new house in the Hollywood Hills. Of course, they throw a lavish housewarming party, inviting all of their friends and coworkers and bosses. As the party simmers down for the night, one couple sticks around much longer than the other guests. Realizing that neither of them invited the mysterious couple, Adam and Margo try to get them to leave. But when it turns out that Tom (Timothy Granaderos) and Sasha (Perry Mattfeld) are the neighbors, the homeowners decide to get to know them better and spend the evening drinking and laughing and talking and snorting coke. When the evening starts getting really weird, Adam and Margo begin to suspect that their neighbors aren’t who they say they are. If only they knew the truth behind the “couple.”

Who Invited Them is a weird movie. For a majority of the runtime, nothing happens. I kept waiting for a jump scare or one of the couples to break and kill the other. However, all we get is a lot of talking. Sure, the movie is pretty suspenseful but it takes a very long time to get to the pay off.

My other issue is that there are a lot of questions at the end of the movie. They aren’t good questions like “Did they get away with it” or “What happens next?” Instead, they are questions like “What was the point of this character” and “What happened to everyone else?” There just isn’t a lot of resolution to be had here. Maybe the original plan was to make the movie longer or maybe they plan on having a sequel. As a movie on it’s own, though? It isn’t satisfying enough to justify watching it, which makes me sad because I enjoyed the suspense. But you can’t have a movie that is all suspense and no payoff.

Unless you literally have nothing else to watch, I would recommend staying away from Who Invited Them. All it is going to do is make you long for a better movie.