We're (almost) back, baby!

This year has been a doozy. It took way longer than I hoped to recover from my eye injury. Even now, my eye still hurts sometimes. But at least I can watch movies and TV again.

Then my husband and I got Covid for the first time in September. That knocked me out for awhile and I still have a bit of a cough left over. But at least I have the attention span to watch movies and TV again.

You have probably noticed by now that I have, sadly, missed most of scary movie season. I’d like to try to get one or two movie reviews up before Halloween. We’ll see how it goes.

BUT. I will be returning for my annual Christmas movie extravaganza. I have decided to remove the UpTV movies from my schedule because they were all pretty terrible. I did decide to keep the Great American Family movies because I need to know what Candace Cameron Bure and Danica McKellar are up to. As of right now, this year’s lineup includes both Hallmark channels, Lifetime, Great American Family, Disney+, and Hulu. If anything interesting on another channel pops up, I’ll probably add that too. Feel free to send me any suggestions for new Christmas movies this season. Let’s get ready to get jolly!

An Update

Hi all,

As you can see, I haven’t posted any reviews since February 6. Here is why: On February 7, I was diagnosed with a large corneal abrasion that made seeing extremely painful. I spent the rest of that week sitting in the dark with my eyes closed. Thankfully, podcasts are a thing so I was able to have some form of entertainment.

Fast forward to today, February 17, my eye is almost healed. I am no longer wearing an eyepatch and my vision is no longer blurry. However, now I’m extremely sensitive to light. I have a very difficult time watching television. My husband and I went to the movies earlier this week to see Winnie-The-Pooh: Blood and Honey, which we have been looking forward to and I really wanted to write a review. Sadly, I spent a lot of the movie with my eyes closed because the scenes with bright lights hurt them too much.

So, I am still healing. I have to be patient, which I’m not very good at. I definitely plan on returning to review movies. I’m just not sure how long that will take. I can’t review a movie if I can’t actually watch it. Until I return, I will be healing and, when I come back, maybe I’ll talk about some of the podcasts and other things that have kept me entertained in my downtime.

Thank you for your continued support!

Crush | Movie Review

Hulu released a teen romcom last year called Crush. To me, that title sounds more like a horror movie than a romcom. Well, let’s see how horrific it is.

Paige (Rowan Blanchard) is a high school student dreaming of attending an elite art school. She needs to submit a piece of art based on the prompt “your happiest moment.” All of the moments she can think of revolve around her crush, Gabby Campos (Isabella Ferreira). When the school principal accuses Paige of being KingPun, a local artist leaving pun-themed graffiti on the walls, she agrees to join the track team as an extracurricular and find out the true identity of KingPun. Gabby’s sister, AJ (Auli’i Cravalho), is assigned to train Paige, who is painfully unathletic. As she spends more time with AJ, Paige finds that she no longer likes Gabby. She now has a crush on AJ. But this only complicates things. Oh, and she still has to figure out who is behind KingPun!

Crush was a pretty cute movie. It seemed a little weird that a majority of the characters were gay but maybe that is just the group of kids Paige hangs around. Or maybe it’s because the whole movie revolves around Paige’s emotions. The writers didn’t want her crushing on a straight girl because there would be no resolution there so they had to put almost everyone on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

I think my biggest issue with Crush is that there isn’t a lot of substance in the plot. Paige didn’t dig too deeply to try to figure out the identity of KingPun. Either we should have seen Paige trying harder to figure out her submission artwork or they should have spent more time trying to figure out KingPun. As it is, we’re mostly treated to track team antics. Which, by the way, everyone seems to be on the track team too. This is a very small world she lives in.

Since there were a few cute moments in the movie, I’m rating it a 3 out of 5. It could have been a lot worse but it could have been a whole lot better.

Wedding Season | Movie Review

The funniest part about not knowing a lot about romantic comedies is that I don’t really know what to look for when I’m searching for a movie. I just pop into the “romance” category and cross my fingers. Is there some sort of romcom database somewhere? It would be helpful.

Asha (Pallavi Sharda) is a successful economist works in microfinance to get loans for women in impoverished countries to start their own businesses. Her mother, Suneeta (Veena Sood), is desperate to find the right man for her daughter so she writes an online dating profile for Asha without Asha’s knowledge. One of the men that replies is Ravi (Suraj Sharma). Well, it’s Ravi’s parents that reply, setting them up on a date. The first date goes badly but Asha and Ravi agree to fake date in order to keep unwanted attention away from themselves during wedding season, when they have 14 weddings to attend. They end up spending so much time together that the fake dating turns real.

While this was a fairly standard romcom plot with the twist of Indian culture, I found myself enjoying Wedding Season. None of the characters came off as annoying or outrageous. Even all of the parents and aunties in the movie came off as lovingly overbearing. There is one part where Ravi’s parents are a little too much and my heart broke knowing what he had to go through growing up. But even they come around at the end to apologize for their misdeeds.

Yes, Wedding Season is full of tropes. But it was enjoyable and easy to watch. I’m giving it a 4 out of 5 with the hopes that DJ Spellbound can perform at one of my parties.

The People We Hate At The Wedding | Movie Review

You know, I’m not completely sure The People We Hate At The Wedding fits the romcom category. But Amazon listed it as both a comedy and a romance movie so I watched it. Now that I did…I’m not completely sure it’s a comedy either.

Eloise (Cynthia Addai-Robinson) is the first child of Donna (Allison Janney), from her first marriage to Henrique (Isaach De Bankolé) when she lived in England. After they broke up, Donna moved to the United States, married her second husband Bill (Andy Daly), and had two more children: Paul (Ben Platt) and Alice (Kristen Bell). As the children grew up, they grew distant. Now Eloise is about to get married and she has invited her American family to join her, much to their dismay.

This is another movie where almost all of the characters are terrible people. Alice is sleeping with her married boss, Paul is a therapist at a terrible clinic attempting to treat OCD through exposure therapy, Paul’s boyfriend Dominic (Karan Soni) bullies Paul into doing whatever he wants to do, Donna may have abandoned Eloise as a teenager…it’s kinda hinted at but not actually stated, Henrique sleeps around with much younger women. Eloise is the best of the characters and the one we’re supposed to sympathize with. However, she has done her fair share of terrible things as well. While it can be fun watching a dumpster fire, it would have been great if the fire was put out a little sooner.

I suppose, in the end, I would give The People We Hate a 3 out of 5. It definitely would have ranked higher if EVERYONE wasn’t so terrible. I guess Dennis (Dustin Milligan) is a good guy but he’s only in like 4 scenes. He barely counts as a character. I need someone actually in the movie to cheer for!

You People | Movie Review

I had heard that You People was a terrible movie. Of course that means I had to watch it. I’m not sure that it’s terrible but I’m not sure that it’s good either.

Ezra (Jonah Hill) is a Jewish man who falls in love with Amira (Lauren London), a black woman. When the two get engaged, they have to figure out how to blend both their families and their cultures without anyone getting hurt or offended. It is much more difficult than either imagined.

Hm. Let me start off by saying that I didn’t hate You People. It has an extremely strong cast - Eddie Murphy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Nia Long, David Duchovny, and so many cameos that I couldn’t possibly name everyone. They were wonderful. My problem is the script.

I’m not really sure what the point of the movie was. Sure, it was about how cultures are different but, at the same time, it didn’t do anything to resolve the culture issue. Instead, they made Amira’s dad, Akbar (Murphy), a straight up asshole to Ezra. It wasn’t about culture. It wasn’t about Ezra not understanding black problems in the world. It was about Akbar not wanting his daughter to date a white man but he didn’t want to admit it. On the other side, Ezra’s mother, Shelley (Louis-Dreyfus), tries to center everything around herself. When Amira first meets the family and tells them what she does for a living, Shelley literally makes it about herself. At no point does she ever try to understand Shelley or learn more about her as a person. She just wants to be seen as “not racist” so instead she’s a jerk.

If all of the family members had come together with the intention of actually meeting each other and learning more about who they are, this might have been an amazing movie. But no. It’s about Who Has It Worse - Black People or Jewish People. And I wish I could say that it was only the parents who had this mindset. But we don’t even see Ezra and Amira talking to each other about their cultures and their differences. We only see Ezra learning about the black experience through his podcast co-host, Mo (Sam Jay). And even that barely scrapes the surface.

I would love to tell everyone to go watch this movie. That they will learn so much about people who live different lives. But no. All you will learn is that Jonah Hill is sarcastic and Lauren London is gorgeous. And, really, you should have known that before the movie even started. I give it a 2.5 out of 5.

About Fate | Movie Review

After I watched Shotgun Wedding, Amazon Prime recommended About Fate. It seemed like an easy enough watch so why not?

Griffin (Thomas Mann) wants to propose to his girlfriend, Clementine (Madelaine Petsch). Margot (Emma Roberts) wants her boyfriend, Kip (Lewis Tan), to propose to her. When both dates go wrong, Griffin and Margot find themselves thrown together by fate. Maybe they will find the love they are looking for with each other.

About Fate was fun but not the same kind of fun as Shotgun Wedding. Poor Margot kept getting lambasted by her sister, Carrie (Britt Robertson). No matter what Margot did, Carrie assumed that she would mess it up. While pressure like that would almost always result in failure, Margot always came through for her sister. Sure, it wasn’t “perfect” but, news flash, nothing is perfect.

Thankfully, the relationship between Griffin and Margot kept the movie entertaining. This is one of the few movies where I kinda wished the rest of the characters would just go away so Griffin and Margot could have fun in their own little world. Everyone else sucked.

So where would I stick About Fate? Probably at a 3 out of 5. This isn’t necessarily a movie I would watch again but I might be interested in a movie about Griffin and Margot’s life after they get married. Just not their actual wedding. I don’t want to see either of their families any more.

Shotgun Wedding | Movie Review

Since February is a short month and the month of love, I’m going to attempt to do daily romantic comedy reviews for the entire month. I don’t usually watch a lot of romcoms so some of these movies may be very old. But we’re going to start out with a new one - Shotgun Wedding, which was released on Amazon Prime on January 27.

Tom (Josh Duhamel) and Darcy (Jennifer Lopez) are having a destination wedding. They have gathered all of their family members on a private island in The Philippines. As the bride and groom are getting ready, a band of pirates attacks the rest of the guests, taking them all hostage. They demand a ransom from Darcy’s father, Robert (Cheech Marin). Unbeknownst to everyone, Tom and Darcy are actually arguing, debating whether or not they actually want to get married. When they find out their loved ones are in danger, they work together to save everyone’s lives, reigniting their love along the way.

To be honest, I expected this to be a stupid movie. As I said earlier, I don’t watch a lot of romcoms and the ones starring Jennifer Lopez always seem to be terrible. Imagine how happy I was when I found myself actually enjoying Shotgun Wedding! I think what held it together for me was the ensemble cast. Instead of everything focusing on Darcy and Tom, we had comedy heavyweights Jennifer Coolidge and Cheech Marin alongside the extremely talented D’Arcy Carden, the often-forgotten talent of Melissa Hunter, and the over-the-top acting of Lenny Kravitz. Since the movie split its’ time between the couple and their families, there was a lot more meat to its’ bones.

I wanted to list my favorite parts of the movie here but I’m having a difficult time pinning down one or two moments. The fight scene at the end is pretty cool. So is the zipline scene and the fight in the kitchen. And so is the scene where Darcy confronts her family. I would probably have an easier time listing the things I didn’t like about the movie…though there aren’t a lot of those moments either. I don’t think I would put this as a 5 out of 5 movie but it’s definitely a 4 out of 5.

Infinity Pool | Movie Review

My husband and I have become recent fans of Mia Goth’s work, thanks to X and Pearl. When we saw she had a new movie coming out, Infinity Pool, we knew we wanted to see it. I don’t think we fully knew what we were in for. The plot description for this is long so buckle in.

James Foster (Alexander Skarsgård) is a novelist, though the only book he has published was released six years ago. Unable to write another book, he goes on vacation to Latoka with his wife, Em (Cleopatra Coleman). The two are having relationship difficulties that worsen when James meets a fan named Gabi (Mia Goth) and her husband Alban (Jalil Lespert). After dinner that night, the two couples decide to go on a seaside picnic the next day, even though tourists are forbidden from leaving the resort. They spend the day eating and drinking but, as James is driving the group back to the resort, he hits and kills a local farmer crossing the street. The punishment for the crime is death. However, the local detective makes a deal with James. For a large sum of money, they will create an identical clone of James. The clone will take the punishment while James goes back to his regular life, after watching the clone get murdered. Em is horrified by the whole thing and wants to go home. James has an opposite reaction and decides to stay. From here, James spends his time with Gabi, Alban, and their friends, who have all committed serious crimes on the island and have been cloned as a result. The debauchery continues until James can’t take any more. He tries to leave the group but they won’t allow it. Will he be able to get out or is he trapped in a life of crime forever?

Yeah. For those that don’t know, this is a movie directed and written by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David Cronenberg. As such, Infinity Pool does have a lot of very disturbing scenes. There are drug-fueled orgies (which were apparently tamed in order to get the R rating), fairly graphic murders, and a lot of blood. It is very over the top.

Did I like it? There were a lot of things I liked. The clone issue is always an interesting plot device. Who is the “real” person and who is the clone? I also liked Gabi’s leadership of the group. Everything seemed to be her idea and everyone else was just following along, even though they also enjoyed what they were doing. I don’t think that we necessarily needed all of the weird visuals that sometimes made me difficult for me to understand what was happening but that is a typical Cronenberg trope. His dad does stuff like that and now he does too. It should be expected when you hear their name.

With that said, I don’t think I would recommend this movie to just anyone. It is a very specific type of person that enjoys Cronenberg movies. If you enjoy the trippy type of visuals and absolutely gore that comes with the family name, you might like this a lot. For me, I’m giving it a 3 out of 5.

Dog Gone | Movie Review

To be honest, I kept passing by Dog Gone on Netflix ever since it came out on January 13. The thumbnail looked boring, the preview looked boring, the description was boring. It just didn’t look like a movie I would enjoy. But I’m a reviewer so I finally put on my big girl pants and turned it on.

Fielding Marshall (Johnny Berchtold) is in his senior year of college. After his girlfriend breaks up with him, he adopts a dog named Gonker. When graduation rolls around, Fielding misses the ceremony because he lost track of time camping with his dog. Needless to say, his parents, John (Rob Lowe) and Ginny (Kimberly Williams-Paisley), are not happy. Fielding and Gonker move back to the Marshall home to try to figure out what to do with their life. While hiking with his college buddy, Nate (Nick Peine), Gonker chases a fox and gets lost. Fielding and John spend the next couple of weeks together searching for their dog.

If you are looking for a movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat, Dog Gone is not it. Instead, you will find a heartfelt drama that is based on a true story. While the search for Gonker drives the plot, it’s the strained relationship between Fielding and his father that is the core of the movie. As such, I found Dog Gone to be fairly dull. The parts that I found most interesting were the parts involving Fielding’s mother, Ginny, and her past relationship with her parents and the dog that she briefly owned. Those were the parts that made me teary-eyed. Not the testosterone-filled “Let’s not talk about anything” men. They were actually kinda annoying.

I would have preferred if Dog Gone was told from Gonker’s point of view, like Homeward Bound. It also would have made the title a little more appropriate. Yes, it’s the name of the book that the movie is based on but it still feels disingenuous. The Search for Gonker or Where Has My Dog Gone? would have been better titles. Anyway, I didn’t like the movie but I didn’t hate it either. It just needs more dog.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 - Mostly because Gonker is a good dog and the credits are filled with pictures of the cast and crew with their pets.